Immutable Laws

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.


Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Or under a cabinet you cannot move.


Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Instant karma!


Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Works well at the grocery!


Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Note to self: always take cordless phone into the bathroom.


Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Or you are wearing old clothes and your hair is a mess!


Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Especially your computer.


Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. It never fails at the health club!


Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.


Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, or change it for the worse. Very true of lipstick and nail polish colors!

(I didn't write this)

If You Think Muffin Was Cute.....

Just wait until you see Miss Daisy Mae! Want to see more?

Go to

http://daisymaetales.blogspot.com/


Daisy Mae reminds me so much of Muffin that I visit her everyday.

Speaking of Dogs.....

This little beauty was our dog Muffin, about whom I wrote on 9-13-05. She ate a lot of the foods on the "banned" list in the post below, but none of them ever seemed to bother her. I guess she had an iron stomach, seeing as how she also ate leather, wood and cloth. The only thing she ever refused to eat was onions.

A former friend of ours had a dog about half the size of Muffin. Jamie (about 6-7 pounds) would eat anything that wasn't nailed down. The husband was preparing for a trip and packing a suitcase laid out on the bed. He tossed a one pound box of Godiva chocolates on top of the suitcase and left the room. Jamie, ever on the alert for something edible, tore into the box and ate most of that as well as all the chocolates. They thought for certain that Jamie was a goner, and called the vet to explain what had transpired.

The vet recommended giving the dog something (I can't remember what) that was sort of the equivalent to Milk of Magnesia, and said that Jamie may indeed die from eating so much chocolate at one time. Not only did she not die, she thrived and continued to eat odd things.

Another time, Jamie discovered a box sitting on the husband's home office desk, and apparently it smelled pretty good to her, because she tore open the stiff cardboard box (eating much of it in the process) to discover a dozen bottles of tums. Would you believe that she chewed through one of the plastic bottles and consumed more than half of the tums chewables? Well, she did.

She didn't die from that episode either. The vet was certain that much calcium carbonate would constipate the dog so badly that she would die from it, but they administered a mild laxative, and Jamie emerged from that trauma with no lasting effects. I am not sure what she died of, but she lived at least several years after that last escapade.

Sound Familiar?

"I don't want to read your blog!

Just tell me how your day went."




Cartoon by Casey Shaw, in USA Today.


Sent to me by Hope, a frequent commenter. THANKS, Hope!

Don't Feed These to Your Dogs!

I got this email from a friend recently about his poor dog, who had ingested something that made her sick. I decided to post it so that you would not make the same mistakes:

"I went to a web site about things NOT to feed to dogs. What I read amazed me. I already knew about chocolate being bad but not the other things listed. I want to share them with you and if you feel it is appropriate share them with the readers of your blog.

1. Chocolate of any kind--deadly!
2. Avacodoes
3. Tomatoes
4. Grapes and raisins--very deadly!
5. Any vitamin preparation or food heavy with iron--Geritol and molasses.
6. Salmon
7. Raw eggs
8. Macadamia nuts
9. Any fruit with tiny seeds like strawberries
10. Potatoes or any potato product
11. Many soy based foods
12. Onions--very deadly!
13. Garlic can be bad for small breeds
14. Any product with caffeine
15. Tylenol--deadly!
16. Non-buffered aspirin

In other words, be careful what you give your dog. What may seem fine for
humans can be fatal or harmful to dogs. "

I hope you find this list useful. I know many people who give their dogs table scraps and who do not know that some things are harmful for their animals. Ignorance is no excuse.

One of These Girls Was Not Like the Others!

(with apologies to Sesame Street!) (Update below)

As promised, here is the story of one of the girls in the Scott's Drugstore photo I posted on the 26th (scroll down).

She was a year older than I and in this photo, I was 15. Possessing an outgoing personality and great sense of humor, she attracted hangers-on, mostly male, and I admit that she intrigued me somewhat. She seemed *sophisticated* - as much as an almost 17-year-old can - and I watched nearly her every move.

We met at parties, were in some of the same clubs at school, ran into each other often, and cemented an aquaintanceship, though not a real friendship. My mom was leery; the old phrase "Birds of a feather flock together" always on her lips where this girl was concerned, since she had already gained a bit of a reputation for being *fast and loose with her favors* (as mom put it).

She graduated the year before I did, and immediately left town. College may have been in her future, but I don't remember if that is why she left so soon. The next thing I heard, she was married, and eventually two children were born to them. They lived way out west, and information about her was sporadic, but gossip always surfaced eventually.

Three or four years later, her mother called me (and everyone else she knew) in tears, asking if I knew anything of her whereabouts. She had left her husband AND children, and had not been heard from in three months or more. Her family was frantic, as you might imagine. I knew nothing, but I promised her mom that if I heard anything of substance, I would let her know.

That spring, I participated in a trip sponsored by the art department of my college to New York City to visit art museums. I have written a little about this trip before; this was the time I met Dizzy Gillespie and saw him perform in the old Metropole jazz joint across from Madison Square Garden. That same evening, we were to go to an Asian restaurant in Chinatown, so about 20 of us met there at 2:00 a.m. Amidst great confusion in the already full to the brim restaurant ( I kid you not - at 2 a.m.), we were seated near the door. As I perused the menu, the doors opened and two men and a woman entered. I looked up, and there stood *that girl* from my home town. That was during the time that the movie Cleopatra was playing, and many women adopted the make-up style of the ancient Egyptians (in the body of Elizabeth Taylor).

There she stood with an Egyptian hairstyle and eyes rimmed with *kohl* and brilliant blue shadow shining like lapis lazuli on her lids. I couldn't believe my eyes. I hid my face behind the menu; thinking that it might be better if she didn't see me. But, of course, curiosity got the better of me anyway, and when she spied me later, we went to the ladies room to talk. She begged me not to tell anyone, especially her parents, where she was. She was working at *The Bitter End*, which was a very popular night club back then, on Bleecker Street, I think.

I told her that I simply could NOT not tell her mom that I had seen her. Had she heard her mom on the phone with me, crying and pleading, she wouldn't have kept her family in the dark about where she was. I did say that I would not tell her mom exactly where we had met, but that I would have to call and let her mom know that she was alive and that she had run away of her own volition. Her only explanation of what she did was to say that she *just couldn't take it anymore* and she thought her children would be better off with their dad than with her. I have a real problem with women who abandon their children - but I didn't challenge her on it. It wouldn't have done much good at 3 a.m. in Chinatown, NYC.

She and I didn't see each other again until about 6 years ago, when I attended a *decade* reunion of my high school classmates. She was there; having moved back to town after her parents died. She didn't even remember me, and I was sort of shocked. Someone in the group chalked it up to (her) smoking too much pot, but I don't know for sure that she did that. I will admit it was a bit of a let-down to me that she didn't remember me. You'd think you'd remember someone you ran into after 5 years in the middle of Chinatown at 3 a.m., wouldn't you?

The question of the day: will you hazard a guess as to which one of the girls it was? Not me, of course. I won't post the answer on the blog - but I'll let the correct guessers know in their comments.

Update: It was NOT the blond. She had her own set of problems, but I won't go into that here. Thanks for playing along.

I Must Share This......

I just read something that I simply must share with you. Do you enjoy reading a post by a smart woman? A woman who takes the obvious and makes you see it in a new light? Who takes the hidden and makes it stand out like a brass band? An enchanting writer, this one.......go and read.....now!

http://hoardedordinaries.blogspot.com/

The Best Man Won, I think.....

Hey, wait just a darn minute!


Should I be happy to have won a contest where the winner has the most disgusting injury?
(And I know only women were in on it - so hush!)

Somehow, I'm not certain that is anything to wish for.


I have a big toe less 1/4th and that is something to shoot for?


An ugly appendage with a thick toenail that ingrows on the opposite side they usually do?


A toenail that looks ugly no matter what color of polish you put on it.....even Opi's "I'm Not A Waitress"!

I think not.


Give me my money back, please!

By the Way.....

I am in the running for the worst foot injury story over at:
http://www.petroville.com/

so go and vote!

P.S. Thanks to all of you who left nice comments about the photo in yesterday's post. We thought we were hot s**t, and apparently, some of you agreed! One of those girls has a very interesting life story.....I am posting it tomorrow. You can read it and then tell me which one of them you think it was.....okay?

Someone Said.....

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby. That Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.
That Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring .... That Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
That Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.


Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices . That Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother. That Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first. That Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ........ That Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery .. That Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten. or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back . That Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.


Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married ... That Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ..... That Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her . That Somebody isn't a mother.

More black and white...August 1956

We were modeling clothing thought to be suitable for high school wear, in preparation for our annual style show for Home Economics classes. It is odd that we wore high heels for the photo shoot because we were not allowed to wear stilettoes at school.

The photo was taken at the old Scott's Drugstore in my home town of Charleston, WV. It is too bad that you cannot see more of the huge white marble soda fountain we were standing in front of; it was an icon in town for many years. The counter was backed by even more massive sections of white marble and a mirror at least 30 feet long. They had old-fashioned telephone booths, where you could make a call in private (don't you wish they would come back for cell-phone users?)

Scott's was the place to go for sodas, milkshakes and more. Marble tile floors, small bistro tables and wire chairs; cool in the summer, a quiet place to sit after a day of shopping, to meet your friends or neighbors, or scope out the newest sundaes and ice cream flavors.

I am second from the right.

This is NOT the Way it Looks.......

at present. I took these photos in 1993.

Left: looking out the front door

Right: looking out the back door

I sincerely hope that we will not see anything similar in 2006!

We certainly have had odd weather this season. It is more like an extended Fall than Winter. It does make me wonder if we should be afraid of February! Has your weather been milder than usual too?

Note: I have out-of-town company this week, so I might not be able to visit you or post as usual. I will return asap.

The Wave of the Future?

See edit below.
From a 1954 issue of Popular Mechanics:

a prediction of what a home computer would look like in 2004.

How funny is this? Would you even have a computer if you had to allot this much space to it?

I have always thought that scientist's predictions of what our lives may be like in the future through vastly improved technology are fun to read and ponder, but how many of them are as far off the mark as this one was?

Lastly: what do you think computers will look like in 2056?

Click to enlarge so you can read the caption under the picture.

I got an email this morning from Greg at http://hastyruminations.blogspot.com/ telling me that this photo is a hoax. You can read about it at:

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/computer.asp

Thanks, Greg!

Would you believe that this sweet, chubby-cheeked baby is now officially a SENIOR CITIZEN?

Yes, today is his 65th birthday!

(he still has the chubby cheeks too)




(Psssst: it's mr. kenju)

Thanks.....

Thanks to those who have already signed the map. If you haven't done so, will you please click on the Frappr map symbol (below Prissy Pig) and add yourself to the map? I'd be so grateful!

MEME: Four Things About Me

Probably more like 4 things you never needed to know about me! Carolyn tagged me for this meme:

http://thegingerquill.blogspot.com

1. Name four things you wouldn't mind having tattooed on your bum:

I don't like tattoos at all, but if I had them, they might be:

a. a rainbow b. a scorpion c. a star d. a rose

2. Name four dangerous and/or irresponsible things you have done in the name of fun:

a. driven much too fast on curvy WV roads (just like Carolyn)

b. picked up a hitchhiker (but I was with 4 other girls)

c. Drove 200 miles away from home one night without telling my parents.

d. I flew to NYC when I was 18 and "ran away from home".

3. Name four useless things you have bought during an identy/mid-life crisis:

a,b,c,&d: jewelery, shoes, shoes, shoes! I don't have to be in a crisis to buy shoes or jewlery, the impetus just comes naturally!

Note: answers to a few of the comments are found in the comments.

Blogging in the Cartoon Pages (2)

Click to enlarge.

Reunions: High School Angst All Over Again?

Bornfool http://bornfool.blogspot.com/ wrote about his upcoming high school reunion recently; he was undecided if he would attend. My experience with reunions is that they are immensely rewarding, as well as great fun, especially if you now live away from where you grew up.

I didn't attend my high school reunions until the 20th; various reasons prevented me, but chiefly I was apprehensive about how I would be received/recognized/welcomed. After attending the 20th, I saw that I should not have been scared. Indeed, I wish now that I had gone to all of them (every 5 years). I know that some women agonize over reunions due to the prospect of seeing old flames, but I didn't have that problem, since most of the people I dated were either older than I or went to other schools.

Seeing all your friends at reunions can be great fun. Stories told and retold......."Do you remember the time that....", popular music of the day being played by the DJ, meeting spouses and sometimes children of your long ago schoolmates is a great experience. One of the most fun things is seeing who looks older than you do (but I can almost guarantee they are thinking the same thing about you)! It is also fun to see the very shy school nerd who became the successful real estate entrepreneur, or the football star who also starred in business and is now a millionaire. Or the beauty queen who is now fat and frumpy. When your reunion is coming up, my advice is to "be there with bells on"!

The photo above is my graduating class picture in 2003, at our 45th reunion. If the good Lord's willing and the creeks don't rise (as we say in WV) I will be there in 2008 for the 50th! Our class had 447 people, and we usually get about 175 at the reunions, plus a few spouses. We have lost quite a few over the years, to accidents or illness. It will be interesting to see how many of us appear at the 50th.

Please Note.....

the new Frappr Map in the sidebar. I hope you'll take a minute to pinpoint your location!

Be Careful What You Say to Strangers....

The other day, Hoss wrote about small talk:

http://oldhorsetailsnake.blogspot.com/2006/01/small-talk-saves-day.html

Engaging in small talk as you wait in line for a movie or to shop can be very interesting, and it certainly helps to pass the time quickly. There is a caveat, however.

Hoss's story got me to thinking about the time my friend (the one I have previously referred to as the psychic vampire) was in the grocery with three boys. As children often do, they were really trying her patience in the store; running around, yelling and asking for candy and toys. At the end of her rope after a long, hard day, she nearly lost it. To keep from saying or doing something that might hurt the kids and get her in trouble with the authorities, she put her head down on her arm, as she leaned over the shoping cart, trying to compose herself. Just at that moment, a woman passed by and assessed the situation by saying, "Now, now.... grandma..... you can take them home to mommy soon, and let her deal with them. "

The trouble was - they were her children - not her grandchildren. You see, she had almost white hair, so nearly everyone assumed she was much older than her 40 years. Adding further fuel to the fire was what happened the day before that; she and I had gone to a restaurant for brunch, along with her youngest boy (a beautiful child who looked angelic, but acted devilish). He wanted to sit on my side of the booth, and it was fine with me. In the booth next to us were a bevy of older men who had met there for breakfast. They watched me, my friend and her boy for a few minutes and then one of the men said to her, "He clearly loves his mama, doesn't he grandma?" I was mortified, and said nothing. She was devastated, and replied simply....."Yes, he sure does". She didn't want to have to explain that she was his mother, and that she and I were only 1 year apart in age.

After experiencing two separate incidents where it was assumed that she was his grandmother, you might assume that she would dye her hair and attempt to appear younger, but she didn't. My point is that you need to think carefully before you make a casual remark to someone, whether making "small talk" or in passing. You never know the real story!

Another example of this happened as we were awaiting boarding our flight to a convention in Hawaii years ago. I was wearing a loose-fitting dress, in anticipation of a long flight and the need to be comfortable. I seldom remember to hold in my stomach, and that time was no exception. A girl friend of one of the men on the trip with us had never met me before, and after being introduced, she asked when the baby was due. I laughed, and replied, "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" (which I'm not, I just have a big belly). At that point, her face turned as red as her hair and she truly looked as though she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. That sure taught me a lesson, and from then on, I held my tongue until I was sure of the situation before I spoke. That's not to say I haven't opened my mouth and inserted my foot. I surely have, but not about pregnancy!

Question: what have you said that embarrassed you?

For Mommas & Grandmommas Everywhere

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided,
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


I'll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues,
I'll bounce on the furniture while wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out,
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
And when that is done, I'll hide under the bed!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both my eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud until the end of the day!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)


And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer
and then close my eyes,
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan,
"She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

God Bless All Grandmas Everywhere ****I did not write this poem!!

The people above are my maternal great grandparents. This photo was taken at a family reunion at their home in WV, in about 1947. I know I have written about them before, but I cannot find the post. They were married 77 years, and died at the ages of 93 and 97, three months apart. They had six children and lived on a working farm where they grew all their food. I remember them as the kindest, sweetest people who ever lived.

Burma Shave

An email sent me back in time this week, thinking about those old Burma Shave signs we used to see on the roads:


TRAINS DON'T WANDER ALL OVER THE MAP 'CAUSE NOBODY SITS IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP ---Burma Shave

SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH BY MISTAKE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HER HUSBAND JAKE--- Burma Shave


Remember these? For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's and '40's. Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet...... and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream. Here are more of the actual signs:

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT--- Burma Shave

DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING--- Burma Shave

BROTHER SPEEDER LET'S REHEARSE ALL TOGETHER GOOD MORNING, NURSE--- Burma Shave

CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND MORE STEER--- Burma Shave

SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN X MARKS THE SPOT--- Burma Shave

THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE--- Burma Shave

AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT BEAUTIFUL CAR WASN'T IT?--- Burma Shave

NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU--- Burma Shave

A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN'--- Burma Shave

AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY--- Burma Shave

BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE--- Burma Shave

THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING--- Burma Shave

CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE--- Burma Shave

And my favorite:

PASSING SCHOOL ZONE TAKE IT SLOW LET OUR LITTLE SHAVERS GROW ---Burma Shave


Do these bring back any old memories? If not, you're merely a child. If they do - then you're old as dirt... LIKE ME!

The Duck Olympics Continue........

Read about it (with accompanying pictures) at:

http://www.presentsimple.blogspot.com/

You'll be glad you did!

In Praise of Older Women

I got this in email this week, and I know it was meant to be a joke. The tag line was "How in the world did they get old and we didn't?" But it set me to thinking about the staying power of many on this list.

Think of actresses/singers/models who are popular today. How many of them will be going strong and remembered like this when they are in their 60's-70's-80's? Can you imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton showing up on a list like this in 2056?

Too many of today's role models have no talent except perhaps for titillation and the ability to shock. Most of the women on the list below have great resumes of acting roles in both movies and TV. Their reputations for excellence will last long after they have exited public life.

I don't know how long this email has been rolling around in web-space, but the ages should be fairly accurate, even if they are off a year or two.

Some of the younger people reading this may have no idea who some of these women are, and I suggest you google a few to see for yourself the stature they achieved in their professions. They make far better role models than most who are lauded today.

Brigitte Bardot 71
Stella Stevens 68
Sophia Loren 71
Gina Lollobrigida 78
Deborah Kerr 94
Lena Horne 88
Kay Starr 83
Patti Page 78
Annette Funicello 63
Barbara Eden 71
Angie Dickenson 74
Doris Day 81
Joan Collins 72
Julie Christie 64
Leslie Caron 74
Carroll Baker 74
Ann-Margret 64
Debra Padget 72
Julie Andrews 70
Ursula Andress 69
Rita Moreno 74
Jean Simmons 76
Julie Newmar 72
Kim Novak 72
Jane Powell 76
Debbie Reynolds 73
Shirley Temple 77
Jane Russell 84
Kathryn Grayson 83
Esther Williams 82
Elke Sommer 65
Gale Storm 83
Jill St. John 65
Liz Taylor 73
Mamie Van Doren 74

Weird = Kenju ?

John, at http://cherishauthor.blogspot.com/ has tagged me for the weirdness meme that is making the rounds recently. The directions are:

List five weird things about yourself. Then tag five others and tell them they’ve been tagged by a comment on their blog. I am not going to tag anyone, but if you're so inclined, please feel free to steal the meme!

Ways I might be considered weird:

1. I can eat the same foods repeatedly for years and years; for example, I ate at least one bowl of Life cereal everyday for 12-13 years.

2. When I finally got tired of the Life cereal, Eggo Waffles took over, and I ate them for about 5-6 years, every morning. Granted, I sometimes put blueberries or sliced strawberries on them, so maybe that isn't sooooo weird.

3. When I graduated from high school, I owned 27 pairs of shoes. Some people think that is weird; I think it is normal (at least it was for a spoiled princess-only child).

4. I am a little bit compulsive about some things; for example the hangers in my closets all have to face the same way all the time, whether they have clothing on them or not. If something is moved out of place in my home, even by a milimeter, I will know it! I have cleaning ladies once in a while and I always know where they have dusted because nothing is ever placed exactly where it had been.

5. I often make three pots of coffee (8 cups each) per day. It is decaf now, though there was a time when I drank as many as 15-20 cups per day of regular coffee. Back then I could stay up until 2 am with no consequence except being unable to wake up until 10am (This was quite a problem when my kids were in school!). Due to my constant use of coffee pots, and the fact that our water here is acidic, pots don't last long at my house. I wrote earlier in the year about how many pots I have bought (or had replaced) since 2004 and the total stands at 11. At least they usually go bad while they are still under warranty.....LOL. Is that weird?

John, this reads more like "five things about me" rather than five weird things. Maybe I am not so weird after all - or maybe I should ask my children what to write. I know I could have easily listed 5 weird things about my mom!

Weekly Cleaning

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess. He asked if I'd been 'putering, And I had to answer "yes."
He told me to get off my butt And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work... I didn't mean to 'click.' But click, I did, and oops I found a real absorbing site that I got SO way into... I was into it all night. Nothing's changed except my mouse.... It's very, very shiny. I guess my house will stay a mess... While I sit here on my hiney.

Now scroll down to the next post - also new.

Book Reports ......

have changed since I went to school!

Titanic versus My Life

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart aleck student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99 Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist. Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry. Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

My One-Year

One year ago today, I began this missive; this series I have called 'letters to the world'. Little did I know how many people would eventually respond to my scribbles. Little did I know how much enjoyment I would get from writing and from reading your responses, since your comments are often the best things about a post. It is good to see how a thoughtful comment can help us to see a situation in a new way, can help to resolve a problem, can help us to laugh and see the similarities within a diverse group of people scattered all over the world.

I have told you before how much I enjoy this process; how much laughter, joy and empathy you evoke each day, how much I have come to care for and about some of you - though I have not laid eyes on you and perhaps never will (though I would surely count that as a blessing).

You are some of the funniest, most empathetic, helpful, smart and sometimes awe-inspiring people around. The pleasure I gain each day from your insightful writing, your photos, your pets and your children is manifold and I hope it never stops. Each of you brings something different to blogdom, but as I read over time, it is possible to see how much we are all alike and that can only be a good thing.

I sometimes get the feeling (however naive it may be) that if everyone read our writings, there might eventually be less conflict in the world. Of course, being multi-lingual would help.....LOL. We would learn to respect our differences while realizing how very similar we are. We all want the same things in the end, don't we? Peace, someone to love, children to share our lives, minds and hearts with, the closeness of family and friends, an occupation that brings us pride and fulfillment as well as our livelihood.

I am immensely happy that I discovered blogs. Here's hoping that you feel the same way and that you will continue to share your hopes, dreams, talents and yes, even your frustrations. Educate me! Amuse me! Allow me to commiserate! I will try to do the same for you.

And now children, the question of the day:

What have you learned from and what do you enjoy most from your blogging experiences?

Stolen.....

from various places.


<I'm not really fat, I just need to lose 10-12 pounds. My attitude about doing it isn't much better than the women in this cartoon!
I don't know if the frog photo>
is digitally maneuvered in some way, but I love it, nonetheless.

^My brother-in-law used to have a cat this size. When Charlie stretched out on the big coffee table, he hung off each end!

^Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I am! I need a toilet like that, and while you're at it - put down that seat and add a coffee pot. I think Hoss posted something like this a while back. I'll bet most of us could use one!

Now scroll down below (if you haven't yet) and check out the good links I posted yesterday!

Links You'll Like

It's time to share some links you might like as much as I do:

Pandora: http://www.pandora.com/

I learned about Pandora from Fred at: http://fragmentsfromfloyd.com/
If you want to listen to music while you blog, Pandora is the place to be. You can tell it what kind of music you want and it will play on and on.


Another good site is Cool Text. I found it today at:

http://milkhoney.blogspot.com/

Thanks to Laura GF! With Cool Text, you can make free banners and buttons for your site. See it at: http://cooltext.com/

I have had such fun with this one for several days: Mr. Picassohead, in which
you can "draw" Picasso-like art. Beware, you can easily spend hours here!
http://www.mrpicassohead.com/index.html

History - as it could have been

Note: I received this in email, and though I am moderately liberal (usually) I thought it was funny enough to pass on to all of you, no matter what your political bent. If something you read here offends you, please don't take it out on me. I'm just the messenger!
Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter. The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives. Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.

That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing.

This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.' Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers." This is our "factual" story and we are sticking to it.

Toons to Tickle Your Fancy!

The Duke of Earle Electronic Domino Theory

Some time back, John, also known as the Duke of Earle, wrote about the domino effect of electric appliances (and other items) and how they die in threes or something like that. You can check it out at:

http://cherishauthor.blogspot.com/2005/08/conspiracy-deepens.html
and at:
http://cherishauthor.blogspot.com/2005/08/is-it-possible.html


He was perhaps right; although for me, it comes in fives. My coffee pot semi-died in December and I immediately bought a new one, although the company quickly sent a replacement part for the bad one, since it was still under warranty. If you have read my history with coffee pots, you know that I will soon be (if not already) on the national coffee pot makers list of "do-not-sell-to-this-woman-or-you will-regret-it".

Just before Christmas Eve, I was attempting to make 2 recipes of my special mashed potatoes to take to my son's home for dinner and my hand mixer gave up the ghost between the first and second batches. It was 22 years old, though, so I suppose I shouldn't fault it too much. After I got a new one, I realized that the old one must have been showing signs of old age for a long time, and I just didn't notice it slowing down......sort of like me.....

Last week the garage door opener decided it had been operating smoothly for too long - and it began to groan and moan before stopping completely. Luckily we can disconnect it and leave it down, and since we don't park in the garage it doesn't matter too much; at least until I have a big wedding. Then it is a problem.

The next thing happened last week. I turned the clothes dryer on and all of a sudden it sounded as if I were tumbling cinder blocks. The repairman spoke those dreaded words....."It will cost almost as much to fix it as a new dryer". Seems the fan assembly is coming apart, and the noise will continue until one fateful day it won't work at all. Then I'll be forced to buy a new one. I shouldn't complain about it either, though, it is 22 years old and has never given me any problems before. What hurt the most was writing the check for $50 to the repairman.

The next day, I tried to make corned beef and cabbage in my crock-pot, which was a gift to me 13 years ago. Suffice it to say that after 6 hours of cooking, the meat was still pink and the carrots were rock hard. I don't know if the thermostat is done for - or what the problem might be. Finally, at nearly 9pm, we got dinner. It was really tasty, but hardly worth waiting that long. I think there is a new stainless steel crock pot in my future!

So, whaddya think? Am I the brunt of a conspiracy between the appliances or is it just karma? Should I scrap everything and start anew? As I see it, the trouble with that would be having everything crap out again in that familiar domino pattern some time in the future. I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and buy new appliances, but I hope I can stagger the purchases somewhat to avoid a future Duke-of-Earle-Domino-Effect.

A Coincidence? You Decide!

1981 and 2005




YEAR 1981


1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope died.

YEAR 2005

1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope died.

In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, please warn the Pope.

The Thin Grey Line

If you Google the phrase "The Thin Grey Line", you will get many pages of discrete references. Some are about internet plagiarism, or New Orlean's levees, the Confederate Army or even song lyrics.


I have a new meaning for it, however, and it is the line that appears atop my head when I am late going to the hairdresser for my monthly cut 'n color.

When I was young, I used to sneer at the "older" women friends of my parents who dyed their hair. "It's ridiculous", I'd say, "she is obviously over 50, why doesn't she just accept her age?" "Salt and pepper hair is beautiful", I'd aver, and say "When I am old, I won't dye my hair; it looks too fake!"

Well, now that I have attained that certain age, I must admit I have been having my hair colored for about 12 years. The first motivation was hair with no shine; hair that was kinkishly uncontrollable as it began turning gray. I had always owned a lustrous mane of long, dark hair, rich with red and mahogany highlights. At about age 53 or so, it began to change and soon it was shot through with gray strands which refused to lie down or curl the way it ought to. I tried coloring it at home, but the monocolor result was what I had always hated about the fake-looking color of most dye jobs. It did help to manage the uncontrollable gray strands, though, so I spoke to my hairdresser about it. He said the only way to achieve shiny hair again was through coloring, done professionally so as to prevent that monocolor look (and to feather his nest, of course). So began my 12+ year saga of monthly hair-color sessions, which drain my purse while enlarging my psyche.

I have been mulling over the possibility of going gray, but will I be able to live through the growing-out period? I can't stand the thought of having 2-3 inches of dull gray followed by 4-5 inches of shiny brown. One possible solution is to cut nearly all of it off and then let it grow in with the natural color. Could I stand to be nearly bald? I am not the type for a pixie cut; you have to be impossibly cute to pull that off at any age. The back of my head is nearly flat, so that is not something I wish to present to the world if I can help it. Maybe I should have it cut off now, so that while it grows out I can wear knitted hats all winter and no one would be the wiser. Or maybe I should wait until the summer and wear straw sun hats to match my clothes.

When I was a child, my mom used to talk occasionally about women who were "mutton dressed up like lamb". I got the feeling that it was a condition to be avoided at all costs; that some women just didn't know when they were past their prime, and so they continued to dress and act as if they were still young, thin and hot. God forbid I should ever be like that.

Have you ever dyed your hair?

Would you dye it when you start turning gray?

Is there an age at which you would stop dying it?

Collections: Ephemera ~ Paper Fans

In 2003 when she was six, one of my granddaughters made this fan for me, with the same face on both sides. She noticed my collection of fans hanging on the den wall, and in her desire to make something I would treasure, she chose to make a fan.

Needless to say, it is one of my favorites! I think the face looks like one of the little girls in the cartoon "Peanuts". She probably wanted it to look like her, but she is much prettier than this!

I keep an "art box" for my grandchildren; consisting of paper, felt pens, crayons, tape, scissors, old greeting cards, stickers and anything else I can find that might be incorporated into a piece of art. It is the first thing they head for when they come to visit. Hours are spent in drawing, cutting and pasting, and the boys make models of airplanes, boats, cars, etc. to their heart's content.

Yes, it makes a mess in the kitchen (or my office) but the enjoyment they get from expressing their creativity is worth every scrap of paper on the floor and every roll of scotch tape emptied. The best part is that I get new artworks for my fridge or bulletin board - and keepsakes worth saving for a lifetime!

 

It's Mr. Opus in the Air with a Shotgun

Do you like to read a good murder mystery? This one has an unbelievable twist of fate! At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994...... the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus, and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide..

He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

"Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "Someone who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide." That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B."

When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident..
It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist... Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

A true story from Associated Press, (Reported by Kurt Westervelt)

I got this one in email, so I cannot vouch for the truth of it, but it makes a good story!

Postcards on Parade ~ California

Top: The huge Bonaventure Hotel, where I stayed during a Special Event Convention, in the early nineties. You could get lost in that hotel very easily, and going up in their elevators was guaranteed to bring your stomach into your throat. Next: Downtown Los Angeles.

And now we enter Naomi's territory: Hollywood! Can we see your home from here? I used to think that the only place where houses were perched precariously on the side of a hill was in WV, but not so! Naomi mentions Ben Affleck's house in her post on 1-4-06 http://sitteninthehills64.blogspot.com/ and how it was built clinging to the side of the hill below her house. If you have ever been to Hollywood, you have seen the houses dotting the hillsides in places appearing to be impossible to build - but they do!

The angled card shows some of the embedded handprints and signatures of some of filmdom's finest: Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe, then Capitol Records headquarters, Mann's Chinese Theater and Mickey Mouse's star on the walk of fame.

The artist's drawing is of the Stanford Court Hotel in San Francisco, on Nob Hill, which I think was the model for the TV series "Hotel" that was on in the 90's. Even if you are not staying there, do go into the lobby and marvel at the fancy construction, and beautiful antiques.

Next is Mann's Chinese Theater, probably the most well-known landmark in Hollywood other than the Brown Derby Restaurant. I remember when it used to be Graumann's Chinese Theater, but I don't know why the name changed. Naomi, can you enlighten us?