Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Book Reports ......

have changed since I went to school!

Titanic versus My Life

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart aleck student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99 Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist. Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry. Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.


bornfool said...

Very clever. I'd have given him or her an "A," too.

Peter said...

Smart book review Judy

Duke_of_Earle said...

Judy, I laughed out loud at that three times. And I'm at work. Darn near got in trouble for goofing off. That report was priceless.


Shelli said...

Pretty funny.

utenzi said...

Whoever wrote this confused the book with the movie, Judy. Not surprising given the depth of the analysis. My parents would definitely like the joke though.

Wordnerd said...

Excellent. Simply excellent! ;)

Jamie Dawn said...

My fav one: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

dena said...

That was wonderful. A brilliant little joke!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

SO funny! I love it.

sage said...

Bad, bad, bad, but I laughed so it wasn't so bad!

Merle said...

Hi Judy ~~ I thought I had left a comment, so hope this is not a repeat. I enjoyed the jokes.

Thank you for your kind words for
my daughter. We will always be
mothers, as you say.
You cannot imagine how much your words meant today.
So sorry about your friend. Guess
some people cannot handle the
trials of life.

srp said...

This is too funny. Very creative, but doubt he actually read the books. It reminds me of an incident in Mississippi. She was in 10th grade and at Christmas Mom, Dad and Stephen were at our home for a couple of weeks. We went out to eat after church and one of her school friends came to talk to her at the table. He was a Senior. He asked her what she had been doing during holiday and she told him about a book she was reading. His reply? "I have better things to do than read books." This in front of her mom, grandparents and uncle; and from a boy who planned to be a teacher. I thought my brother's mouth was going to drop on the floor and I almost got the giggles. Nyssa turned five shades of red as she immediately recognized the strange twisted stupidity of the answer. But, bless it, the boy walked off entirely oblivious to the now permanent impression he had given. Stephen still asks her about him. Oh, my.

Finn said...


Hi! I'm here via Michele today.