Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Trump Started it All

Trump's admission of guilt and the video that prompted it - which he now is trying to rescind - started women thinking about the times they were harassed in a sexual manner by what appears to be mostly rich, old, white men - although I suspect that men of color have been guilty too (other than Bill Cosby.) Said women, I imagine,  decided that telling about the harassment would now be the right thing to do, even though they didn't report it to authorities when it happened. There is safety in numbers, after all.

Have you been sexually harassed?  Did you tell anyone when it happened?  NO?  I didn't either, for fear that I would be held responsible somehow, by my actions, or the way I dress or something I said. That these things happened when I was a teenager/young woman is beside the point. Of course, the men who harassed me were not famous, so reporting it now would have no consequences for them. Several of them may be deceased anyway.

Three times before I turned 24, men exposed themselves in my presence. Each time, I was alone and had no way to report them. I was scared to scream, for fear of what might happen. Afterward, I could not describe any of them, so reporting them didn't matter.

While a student in high school, I was sent to a teacher's office with a message during class. He chased me around his desk twice before I escaped. I can't remember his name now, but his father was well-known in Methodist circles and the teacher also had a Sunday school  class at my church. I never reported that to the principal or dean of women, for fear I'd be adjudged the cause of it, or had welcomed it - which was certainly not the case.

It would not do any good to report these incidents now, since the first 3 men are unknown and the 4th is most probably deceased by now.

The 5th incident happened on a first date. The guy was determined to get me in a position to be attacked, and had it not been for my ability to pray and curse at the same time, I might have been raped. He started laughing and that, of course, meant he "lost the mood". He took me home, unharmed.  Reporting him now would be useless, as he may be deceased too, and nothing really happened - although at the time I was convinced it would have, had I not fought back, both physically and verbally.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

A Happy Thanksgiving!

For many years, I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family. Of course, everyone brought something too, but the main work was on me - and I was happy to do it. Three years ago, in early November, I had open heart surgery (as many of you know.) That year, my son-in-law and daughter hosted our whole family - plus his parents and sister and her family too. It was a huge undertaking, even though we all brought something. Somehow, the job got handed to them again and again, and this year, son-in-law went on strike. I didn't blame him one bit for that.

We discussed what to do; such as going to a fancy restaurant (which for some people is a big financial undertaking), or going out of town (again, financially restrictive for some) or splitting up into our own family units and eating separately. None of those were good alternatives......and then......our twin grandchildren (age 21) decided to cook for all of us.  They have had some experience with cooking, but certainly not that amount of food, nor for that many people. So we were understandably concerned that it may not turn out well.

Well, we need not have been concerned. They started cooking this morning, and didn't finish until 5 pm. It was worth waiting for!  We had turkey, tenderloin, ham, mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, mac & cheese, green bean casserole, mashed sweet potatoes, fresh cranberry sauce, glazed carrots and to honor my husband's request:  creamed onions, which he had not had since before his mom died. 

As if all that was not enough, we had 3 pumpkin pies, and apple pie, and an apple/cranberry pie that our granddaughter baked from scratch!

We all ate as if our lives depended on it  (and I know they do, but not all at once.)  We are so thankful for our family; our three children, eight grandchildren, son-in-law and assorted friends. Our son-in-law's parents didn't make it here this year, but we hope to see them soon.

We hope that you and your family is blessed and grateful for it. Happy Thanksgiving and many blessed years to come.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

A Post-Surgical Friend

Last week, a new friend here in our neighborhood asked if I would be able to pick her up after surgery, assuming she didn't have to stay overnight. I said yes, of course, thinking it would be during daylight hours. 

Her surgery was Friday and she called me at 5 pm asking if I could come and get her at 6:00. Now never mind that it was during very heavy traffic (especially heavy on Friday) but it would be getting dark within 20 minutes or so. My family does not like it if I drive at night - even though I have assured them that I am fine as long as I know the route well, and this one (of about 20 miles) is very familiar.

My husband made me call our daughter (who has lately become my mother)  and she insisted that she would drive and we could pick up my friend. She got here at 5:15, and we set out into heavy traffic. Because she is a very good and experienced driver (having lived in both Washington, DC and New York City) we arrived at the hospital at 5:56. My friend was waiting in a wheelchair accompanied by a nurse.

We made it home in record time, although traffic was still very heavy.  I am sure my friend was in pain, but she never complained. She declared she was very happy to be home and be able to sleep in her own bed! 

I called her on Saturday and took a container of homemade bean soup.  Today I have made vegetable beef soup, so I will, no doubt, take her some of that as well.

Sunday, November 05, 2017

More Culture!!

A new friend invited me to a jazz concert in downtown Apex, NC, on October 27th. I am so happy that I went!

The pianist lives in  my neighborhood, but we've never met. She's a virtuoso and her fingers fly over the keys! Lenore Raphael is a Steinway artist and she travels all over the world giving concerts. 

The bassist, Jason Foureman, was terrific!  How nice to have so many talented musicians living close by. He could nearly make the strings sing!

The drummer, Peter Ingram, is well known in this area. Jim and I went to his club the "Frog and Nightgown" several times in the 70's and 80's and saw Lily Tomlin and Carol Sloane. as well as a few others.

Their concert was wonderful; full of music from the 40's to the 60's. The soloist was JD Mills, who can sing to me any time at all!  I loved when his rendition of "I Don't Stand a Ghost of a Chance with You", which has always been one of my favorite songs! He also sang "Smoke Gets in your Eyes", another favorite. The link takes you to some samples of his singing and I urge to to listen for yourselves! 

We are indeed blessed to have such wonderful artists live in or come to this area to perform. It is too bad we cannot take advantage of every performance available!

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Another Birthday.....

has come and gone. As a young child, I was unable to imagine myself as an old woman. The idea was foreign to me, and I thought I would die early - for some odd reason.  When we were told in 5th grade to write an essay about how old we would be at the dawn of the 21st century  - I could barely imagine being 60 - let alone 77, as I am now. 

I am presently the age at which my adoptive mother died.  My birth mother lived to her mid-eighties, so I suppose it is possible that I will at least match her, or possibly survive her.  I hope so - as long as my health holds out. I do not want to be old and infirm (any more so than I already am.)

Birthdays are times for reflection (or should be.) Am I happy with the person I have become? Could I do more? Have I always conducted myself in a manner that would make my parents proud?  The answer is no to all three, but I could at least remedy the first two.  I am sorry to realize that I have not been as helpful as I might have, or done as much volunteer work as I wish I had. I hope I can change that in the coming two-three years.  

I always wanted to hold and rock babies in the newborn ward at a local hospital.   At the time I might have done that, I had a thriving business doing wedding and party flowers. It would have been impossible for me to sign up for a dedicated time each week, unfortunately.  Now that I have time time for it - I am too old. That's too bad, as I have not had a baby grandchild for almost 18 years - and I really miss being around babies.  

I need to find a volunteer position that will allow me to sit for most of it, since standing for long periods is not possible.  Any recommendations?  

Lastly,  Do you reflect on your life as the birthdays pass each year?  Have you been happy with your past, present and future?

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

A Dental Appointment from Hell

Jim had a 2 pm appointment today on the other side of Cary, about 10 miles away. It is an area with which we are not familiar, so daughter 2 took time out of her very busy work day to be our chauffeur. Jim was not certain that I'd be able to find it - even with GPS barking out the directions.  

I think he was right, since when we reached the office park, even daughter could not find his office. The buildings were partly obscured by trees and shrubs, and the signage was too small to be deciphered easily. Adding insult to injury,  the numbers on the buildings were not consecutive. It made us wonder how many cocktails the developer had had when he sat down to number them on the blueprints - before building them.  We had to call the office and get step by step instructions in order to find it. 

Of course, we mentioned it to the office staff, who all said we were not the first people to complain. 

As I said, the appointment was for 2 pm.  We did not see the oral surgeon until 3:17. He had new x-rays taken, and then we talked with his delightful employee, who was half Korean. We did not mention "Rocket Man" to her; wisely, I think. We talked of cats and small apartments. 

As the doc examined  Jim, the one tooth extraction we thought was coming turned into 3 teeth being pulled (at some point in the future).  YIKES!   When you are older, and teeth break easily at the slightest provocation, it boggles the mind to find out that three more have to be extracted.  Of course, one of those is already broken, and really needs to come out. I question why the other two must be removed too.

Getting older is not for the faint of heart!!

Monday, October 16, 2017

Burning the candle at both ends!!

Well, I "did" say I was busy.....LOL

ON Saturday night we went to Fleming's with friends, to celebrate both ladys birthdays. I over ate and drank so much water that I nearly floated out of there. Drank a margarita too. That night I had to get up three times to go to the bathroom, but I blamed it on all the water I drank. 

Sunday, most of my family came to celebrate my younger daughter's birthday, which is this coming Wednesday. I was going to cook a meal, but they all wanted me to order pizza and make a salad, so as not to be in the kitchen all day long. At the end of the day, I was very, very happy that they had talked me into that. I even bought a cake - a red-velvet cake - instead of baking one.  I sort of like that idea and I may do that at every celebration. Even though I had not done much, I was exhausted at the end of the day.

Monday, the local book club was having their annual pot-luck luncheon. I signed up to bring pork tenderloin and I also made a cherry sauce (my favorite). I only got up once during the night, but I didn't feel very rested. I ate breakfast and immediately started making the pork.  I went to the luncheon and stayed for the book-club discussion, but I had to work hard not to fall asleep.  

Back at home by 2pm, I fell asleep in my recliner and woke by 3 to watch my soap.  I went to the bathroom and I could no longer ignore the cloudiness in my urine. My daughter drove me to the local urgent care and it was obvious I needed meds, for a UTI,  so now I am on antibiotics again.  Darn!  I hope this is the last in a very long time.  

But burning the candle is not over!  Tomorrow I play Scrabble in the afternoon and go to dinner with former neighbors in the evening. The Yard House is our first destination and we go to Level 7 afterward, for drinks. My daughter was upset that I get to go there before she has!   LOL

Wednesday, I will have lunch with two friends, but they have not let me know where yet. I'll fill you in afterward.