Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Or under a cabinet you cannot move.
Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Instant karma!
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Works well at the grocery!
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Note to self: always take cordless phone into the bathroom.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Or you are wearing old clothes and your hair is a mess!
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Especially your computer.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. It never fails at the health club!
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, or change it for the worse. Very true of lipstick and nail polish colors!
(I didn't write this)