Continuing the Story.....

The continuation of my 100 things - although I am beginning to doubt I will reach 100:

53. I was once called to testify in court, against a man who had committed indecent exposure to one of my children and two others.

54. Reading other people's blogs is becoming a habit. One problem is that I add to my list almost daily. I suspect I am not alone in this problem.

55. Optimism is what I strive for, but cynicism sometimes rears its ugly head.

56. I deplore getting the news that a good friend is moving 2 and 1/2 hours away, even if it means a better life for her family, and that her husband won't have to travel extensively any more.

57. I am a most fortunate woman; I have good friends, both in person and on the web.

58. I hope I get to meet some of those web friends someday.

59. Writing is proving to be one of my great pleasures, and getting nice comments about my posts is so affirming. I'm trying not to be vain about it.

60. The older I get, the more I realize that owning "things" is less desirable. The more I own, the more bogged down in details I become.

61. My favorite place is in Kauai, on top of Mt. Weialeale.

62. I would like to take a train all across the US and then across Canada.

63. I have a desire to witness a volcano erupting.

64. Two of my favorite books are: Anthony Adverse by Hervey Allen and The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann.

65. My most recent favorite books are: Three Junes, The Good Earth and

Deception Point.

The Old Hollywood Squares

I hope you hadn't noticed, but I am in a dry spell (creativity wise) and grasping at straws for interesting posts. Hope you enjoy this one; another email gem from a friend:


If you remember the original "Hollywood Squares" and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host.
Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False: A pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake!
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out
.Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.

And in the Same Vein

I received this list in an email; the author was not credited.

An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered . . . not yelled.
* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Food for Thought

I have mentioned before that my mom was a pack rat in the extreme. I found this piece of advertising in her desk; I had framed and it hangs in my kitchen. It is titled "Food for Thought", and it was printed for Judy's Locksmiths in Charleston, WV. I don't know its age, but I suspect it is from the 1950's:

The greatest sin..............................Fear
The best day...................................Today
The biggest fool.......The boy who will not go to school
The best town..............Where you succeed
The most agreeable companion.....The one who would not have you any different from what you are
The great bore..............One who will not come to the point
A still greater bore........One who keeps on talking after he has made his point
The greatest deceiver..............One who deceived himself
The greatest invention of the devil........War
The greatest secret of production.........Saving waste
The best work.................... What you like
The best play.......................Work
The greatetst comfort.......The knowledge that you have done your work well
The greatest mistake..............................Giving up
The most expensive indulgence.......................Hate
The cheapest, stupidest and easiest thing to do.......Finding fault
The greatest trouble maker................One who talks too much
The greatest stumbling block.....................Egotism
The most ridiculous asset.......................... Pride
The worst bankrupt................The soul that has lost its enthusiasm
The cleverest man..................One who always does what he thinks is right
The most dangerous person...........The Liar
The most disagreeable person.......The complainer
The best teacher...................One who makes you want to learn
The meanest feeling of which any human is capable......Feeling bad at another's success
The greatest need...............Common sense
The greatest puzzle................Life
The greatest mystery..............Death
The greatest thought..............God
The greatest thing, bar none, in all the world.................Love

Six Months on the WWW

I was so busy this week that I neglected to mention I reached my six month anniversary of writing this blog on June 16th. When I began, I had no idea that I would post frequently, and I certainly didn't expect to get many readers or comments. So imagine my surprise, after installing a stat-counter on June 3rd, to find that I have had in just 16 days, over a thousand visitors. Sure makes me wonder how many there have been over the course of the whole six months!

It has been very rewarding to read the comments on my writing; whether serious or funny. Those of you whom I read everyday, and some I visit often through Michele's Meet n' Greet, have given me hours of pleasure, hours of reflection on my childhood and the person I am, greater insight into current events and social issues, and I appreciate the forays into your lives and memories. It all serves to prove how very alike we all are under the skin, even when we disagree.

I give thanks to all of you who stop by here, whether often or sporadically, and I welcome you back anytime. Thanks for providing me (with your writings) a respite from the chores of everyday life, a balm to my soul and hope for our future.

And a wonderful Father's Day to all you guys!

An Ode to Girlfriends

Here is another gem I received in email; the guys may want to skip this one:

When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman. And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God would show you the best in many friends. One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man. Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom. Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be. One friend will say let's pray together, another let's cry together, another let's fight together, another let's walk away together. One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another your love for a good laugh, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings, another your mentor. But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or wherever you need them, whether to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself, those are your best friends. It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it's wrapped up in several ........one from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church, on some days your mother, on others your sisters, and on some days your daughters. So whether they've been there 20 minutes or 20 years, pass this on to the women that God has placed in your life to make a difference. Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Love waxes and wanes. Hearts break. Careers end. Jobs come and go. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Men don't call when they say they will. BUT........... Girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. Daughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, mother, mother-in-law, aunties, nieces, cousins, extended family, and friends bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would we. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to the women who help make your life work.

Daffynitions

Finally, some definitions that make sense.........Someone had to do a lot of thinking to come up with these.


ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.