Tuesday, June 21, 2005

And in the Same Vein

I received this list in an email; the author was not credited.

An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered . . . not yelled.
* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.


Angie said...

I have read this one many times. I laugh at "Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance." How true! lol

Karen said...

Very funny - LOL

The Mistress of the Dark said...

These are funny!

Oh and Hello, Michele sent me!

Kevin B said...

Drink upstream from the herd, that one made me think! Thanks for sharing, never get enough of this kind of wisdom!

Heather said...

Those farmers are pretty smart, eh?

Ms Mac said...

"Plow around the stump"- hehehe!

bonnie said...

Cut. Copy. Paste. Print. Hang on fridge.
Thanks for posting this great list and the penultimate one, as well. My kiddos love this kind of stuff, too!

Miz Peg said...

Funny sayings, but lots of common sense. I like the one about good judgment.

FTS said...

"If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'."

Oh, how I can relate to this one.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, is the 5th person enjoying it?"

Some eternal questions seem to have no answers....

Mary said...

This list is awesome. Where did you find it?

kenju said...

Mary, I tried to leave a comment for you, but I could get your comments to open. I got this list in an email from a friend, and it did not list who wrote it or where it came from.

Melissa said...

Those are great!

rugdesigner said...

According to my father, he may have authored some of these... :) These are great!

Michele said...

I love this list...in fact I wrote this line in my daytimer:

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Gerbera Daisy said...

I would like to add to...Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly, and Dance like nobody is watching!!! Leave the rest to God.

Also, Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got... Sometimes you get the elevator and sometimes you get the shaft.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Judy - I love these witticisms you keep finding.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Good stuff, lady!


Unga~Chunga said...

Good laughs and good advice! I'm printing it to put on my Frig!

colleen said...

good old fashion advice never goes out of style. I especially liked "forgive your enemy. It messes with their head."

kenju said...

Thanks, everybody! I guess I should ask my friends to keep sending the funny and inspiring email. Sure make for an easy post!

Alisa said...

Truer words of wisdom have never been spoken!