I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
17 comments:
again...you made me laugh out loud!!!
I remember a few bunper stickers with these on them...also ex-wife for sale...take over payments, and of course, ex-wife in trunk rear end me (not always funny!)Did the aluminum foil work?
That's a great cartoon - but I suspect it works the other way around too - I work in Internet support, and believe me, I talk to a LOT of frustrated (and frustrating) men, I think it's about attention to detail, the guys just don't seem to have it...
and people wonder why I've never remarried. Good marriages are a rarity and humor is definitely needed!
Hey there via Michele's! Fantastic quotes - I shall have to take #16 away with me ;)
LOL, LOL, LOL...Very funnt things. Judy!
So true! So true! Now where are the ones about men? :)
The starts are aligned against commenting today! Blogger has cut me off at the pass repeatedly. Here, so far, so good. These are pretty funny, Judy. I got an e-mail today with a bunch of "new" maxine cartoons some of them quite good.
I could have taught Freud a thing or two. It's not that difficult.
Great quotes as usual, Judy!
~S
These are funny. I have now been an ex... longer than I was married. Life has a way... of working out for the best.
Heh.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
That comic was a genius, Judy. Yeah. That gender thing can be a problem. How have the two of you remained married for around 40 years?!?! I barely got past 3 years and I'm so glad I got away.
Michele sent me to read and agree with most of those statements, Judy.
BTW, Blogger forced me to switch over today and it's HELL!
These are great! I'll have to read them to my husband.
I read these before but it was great to see them again.
I laughed all over again.
Thanks.
I needed that today!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one
I love it when you post this stuff....
:) Thanks for a wonderful way to start my weekend!
These are excellent. Great for a Friday afternoon!
Those are so great! LOL. I love Maxine. She says everything so well.
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