Thursday, February 01, 2007

Marriage is a Two Way Street

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


bluemountainmama said... made me laugh out loud!!!

rosemary said...

I remember a few bunper stickers with these on them...also ex-wife for sale...take over payments, and of course, ex-wife in trunk rear end me (not always funny!)Did the aluminum foil work?

DellaB said...

That's a great cartoon - but I suspect it works the other way around too - I work in Internet support, and believe me, I talk to a LOT of frustrated (and frustrating) men, I think it's about attention to detail, the guys just don't seem to have it...

Ginnie said...

and people wonder why I've never remarried. Good marriages are a rarity and humor is definitely needed!

alex said...

Hey there via Michele's! Fantastic quotes - I shall have to take #16 away with me ;)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL...Very funnt things. Judy!

Lee said...

So true! So true! Now where are the ones about men? :)

vicki said...

The starts are aligned against commenting today! Blogger has cut me off at the pass repeatedly. Here, so far, so good. These are pretty funny, Judy. I got an e-mail today with a bunch of "new" maxine cartoons some of them quite good.

Shephard said...

I could have taught Freud a thing or two. It's not that difficult.
Great quotes as usual, Judy!

srp said...

These are funny. I have now been an ex... longer than I was married. Life has a way... of working out for the best.

Thumper said...


utenzi said...

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

That comic was a genius, Judy. Yeah. That gender thing can be a problem. How have the two of you remained married for around 40 years?!?! I barely got past 3 years and I'm so glad I got away.

Michele sent me to read and agree with most of those statements, Judy.

BTW, Blogger forced me to switch over today and it's HELL!

raehan said...

These are great! I'll have to read them to my husband.

Raggedy said...

I read these before but it was great to see them again.
I laughed all over again.
I needed that today!
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Anna said...

I love it when you post this stuff....

:) Thanks for a wonderful way to start my weekend!

Bob-kat said...

These are excellent. Great for a Friday afternoon!

Beverly said...

Those are so great! LOL. I love Maxine. She says everything so well.