Monday, December 11, 2006

Virtues and Vices & Other Insults

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed

" He had some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
James Reston (about Richard Nixon

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder

These are not exactly in the Christmas spirit, but I thought you might like something to counteract some of the sweetness and light.........LOL


Claire said...

These are great fun, added a good giggle to my day!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for those...I enjoyed taking a break and laughing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, this is a treasure! Most were partly forgotten favorites, but I found a bunch of fresh derisions for my bag of insults. Thanks for posting it, all the sweetness and light was making my substantial belly ache.

Now, back to another Harry & David truffle. said...

I love anything that encourages my Grinchiness! :-)

AJ said...

Those were great, K.!

Merry Humbug to you too! *LOL*

Sonia said...

I like so much reading quotes and Oscar Wilde for me is the best, he is "hours concours"! Thanks for sharing those quotes!

srp said...

These all have that touch of Southern charm in them.....

Bless his heart!

That phrase that when used with various insults if perfectly acceptable in polite parlor company. My, my!

Seamus said...

I love the exchange between Faulkner and Hemmingway!

Becky68 said...

Here from Micheles,
Very good quotes! Always nice to see someone else is not feeling all sweetness & light too!

colleen said...

Ahh such witty digs.

ET said...

I enjoyed those - the kind of little quotes of wisdom I like to handwrite on Christmas cards.

Anonymous said...

Very witty quotes, very funny. Beautiful Christmas decorations what wonderful wowrk! I really enjoyed catching up and reading your post.
Cheers Margaret

Beverly said...

Those are great. With friends like those, who needs enemies?

trinamick said...

I definitely need to add these to my list of insults. They have such a nice ring to them... :P