Tuesday, July 22, 2014

You Just Never Know...

In 2008, I was going back to my hometown for a school reunion and I made arrangements to meet with a few women bloggers, whose blogs I'd been reading for 2-3-4 years. Most of us had become acquainted on another website through our comments there. We met in a local restaurant and chatted for hours. Only two of them had met before, and I was pleased to see two others getting along so well and pleased that I'd had a hand in their meeting each other. 

After returning home, I continued to read their blogs and see their comments on others, and eventually, on another trip home, I met with one of those women again. At that visit, no one else could make it. We chatted and although she is very different from me, we do have things in common and I liked her. When I joined Facebook, we all became "friends" there too.

About three months ago, she wrote me (in a private message) that her husband was going to send me a friend request on Facebook, because "he knew that we were good friends there, and because he always enjoyed reading what I have posted or my comments on her posts. "  I thought that was fine, so I accepted the request. 

This morning, I read a post about her that made me think I couldn't believe what my eyes were reading, and I asked the person who posted it if he were serious. He assured me he was. 

She was arrested for beating her husband with a baseball bat. I have known a few women who might have wanted to do that - but no one who would actually be capable of it, and especially not one who would do it with her children present in the home. I am appalled lately at all human behavior, but especially this. 

I will not go into details of why she supposedly did it, but I simply cannot let this pass without comment. Alcoholism has reared its ugly head again. This woman drank too much for a time, and during the last year, she went off all alcohol  (or reported that she had) and she changed before my (reading) eyes - for much the better. I applauded and encouraged her to continue in sobriety, but it didn't last; she started drinking again and now it has led to the activities that preceded the beating, and the arrest. Her family has been through hell this year for other reasons, and now this has further devastated them all. Two children and as far as I know, a good, loyal husband have been trashed for all time. One of the children witnessed the attack. Can you imagine being so drunk that you would be capable of that - either alone or in front of a child? The child was the one who called 911 and saved his father's life. 

My family has always cautioned me about meeting with bloggers I have "met" only on the internet. So far, I have found (a number of times) some wonderful people. I am always told they could be "ax-murderers" and the like. I pooh-poohed it and most of the time I have been right - but this is one time when I was almost completely snowed by someone. I will be more careful in the future and not take people at face value any more. I really hate having to do that. 

I am done with this woman - except to pray for her and her family. I hope you will join me. 





10 comments:

OldLady Of The Hills said...

This is a sad sad story, Judy.....Alcoholism is a disease and it has such far reaching damage when someone drinks like that.....Poor Husband and Children, and poor Her, too.....I will pray for her Judy, that she stops drinking again and gets a handle on her disease......As we know, no one is ever "cured"; all one can do is get the help you need and if it is AA, work your program....I know many many people who have been sober 30 and 35 years....Maybe being arrested will be her bottom.

Miss Dazey said...

I feel sorry for everyone involved. I really hurt for her family, what that must be living through.

As for meeting people in real person that I've visited with online. I have done it a few times, But not often. It has always a positive experience. Frankly, I am always afraid people won't like me in person. That said, I would love to meet Judy and talk about flowers.

Ginnie said...

I feel richer for having met you on more than one occassion, Judy. Yes, alcohol or drugs (even the so called benign ones like those prescribed by a dr.) will alter the mind to an unbelievable extent. I just celebrated 25 year of a sober life thanks to AA and I can't enumerate the tragedies that I've witnessed, but the miracles have been there too. I hope you won't close yourself off from them because of this one incident. Sending a hug !

Peruby said...

This made me sick to my stomach. Ugh.

Gilly said...

How very sad, and saddest perhaps for the children. Alcohol has spawned so much evil and downright badness that I think it should be banned, but that will never happen, and probably wouldn't work.

And I am not an axe-wielder, Judy, I'm very ordinary, and though I don't suppose we will ever meet, I count you as an internet friend.

Gilly said...

How very sad, and saddest perhaps for the children. Alcohol has spawned so much evil and downright badness that I think it should be banned, but that will never happen, and probably wouldn't work.

And I am not an axe-wielder, Judy, I'm very ordinary, and though I don't suppose we will ever meet, I count you as an internet friend.

kenju said...

Thanks, Gilly, and I return that sentiment.

Ginnie, there are other extenuating circumstances that I can't go into here, but it is appalling.

robin andrea said...

Yikes. That's quite a sad story. It's true that you really never know people, even after you've read them for years. Such crazy violence, though, is as scary as it gets.

LL Cool Joe said...

What a tragic story all round. I will pray for the whole family, even her, because as Naomi says, she has a disease. What she did was terrible and I know all too well about seeing violence at home.

I hope my comments are appearing here okay as your word verification box looks very strange!

Donnie Benson said...

Oh my! That's shocking news, indeed! It's really easy to associate that incident with alcoholism, although that's not a foregone conclusion. On the other hand, I'm sure that would serve as a warning to all your friends. They'll be able to see the negative effects of alcoholism. I hope they'll use that realization to stay away from alcohol.

Donnie Benson @ Midwest Institute for Addiction