I was told last week that my two grandsons were overheard arguing over who was the better looking of the two. I had to laugh. It is just like a boy to look in the mirror and see the best of himself - he may make a mountain out of a molehill!
A girl looks in the mirror and sees a scar or skin imperfection. She says "My hair is too long/short/dry/oily/fly-away/dark/light" and "I'm too short/tall/fat/skinny/bowlegged." Why can't a girl be more like a boy in this regard? She makes a mountain into a molehill.
In the case of my two grandsons (whom I recently referred to as "swoon-worthy"), they are correct in the assessment of their appearance. Tall, trim and blessed with good skin and teeth, they are gorgeous to look at. My four granddaughters are all very pretty (both inside and out), but none of them has ever been overheard discussing how good looking they are. They might have thought it, but would probably never say it out loud. On the contrary, chances are they would be heard discussing their problem areas and generally denigrating their looks, or choosing one bad thing on which to focus and ignoring the other wonderful 99%.
I should like to remind all of them that there is an old saying...."Pretty is as pretty does." In other words, "beauty is only skin deep" and it is the pretty inside that really counts. How we live our lives and conduct ourselves; showing a genuine concern for others day by day is what makes us handsome or beautiful. Good thoughts and good works shine out of our countenance and make us glow from within. That is true beauty and the lasting kind. Physical beauty can be done away with in an instant (or by growing old) but inner beauty will remain.
Another reminder is that with physical beauty and handsome looks comes a responsibility to use it wisely. A pretty girl or a handsome boy never ought to (calculatingly) use their looks to get their way, or treat others poorly, though the temptation may be present. Don't use others (by beguiling them with your looks) to get your way, and don't treat others shabbily when you are tired of their company. I am aware of a particular situation that prompted me to think about this, and although I won't mention it here, the person to whom I am referring will know what I mean (assuming he reads it.) A good rule to live by - no matter what your appearance is: Treat others they way you would want to be treated.
10 comments:
Well Judy you know I hate gender stereotyping and I think that both girls and boys can have a negative or positive image of themselves. I've known many men who hate the way they look, and many woman who think they are beautiful. :)
Good post, inspiring words and a mystery to boot.
Well said Judy and such truth. Take a bald, bulging middle aged average man and he still thinks he is studly enough to snare that 25 year old beauty. He looks in the mirror and sees self confidence. We ladies need to work on that.
Apologies, Joey. I can only speak from my experience and observations. Your last sentence is true for me as well - for men and women. Teenagers are a different story!
I make it a point to compliment my granddaughter Hope on things other than her appearance
her artwork, her dolls, her iPad skills (which are better than mine) and so on
I hope she gets the deep understanding that what we look like is a small part of who we are
I find it quite inspiring when either a man or a woman has a self confidence that in fact makes them really really attractive, even though someone looking on the surface might not think thry are particularly attractive. So very many times I have "fallen for" the person on the inside and then their looks become even better looking to me....
Of course, I have also fallen for the Obviously Handsome---the "swoon-worthy" (lol) to use your very adorable description of your grandsons...Shameful, but true, I'm afraid.
Naomi, I have met people who are not particularly good looking, but they have charisma born of confidence. It makes them irresistible! And you should know that I am a woman who has always been a sucker for a pretty face (male or female!)
A pretty face without a winning personality is like tea in a plastic cup.
Eyes are the feature I have always noticed first when I meet someone. I am told they are the window to the soul.
Your grandchildren all sound like wonderful young people.
Grannymar
Also, looks don't last, so don't rely on them for too long to get you anything or anywhere.
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