Monday, January 15, 2007

The Year of the Blonde

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. (Helllloooo!!!... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!)

March - Got really excited; finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.. (Box said "2-4 years!")

April - Trapped on escalator for hours...( power went out)

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions. (8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!)

June - Tried to go water skiing... (couldn't find a lake with a slope).

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition... (Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!)

August- Got locked out of my car in rain storm... (car swamped because soft-top was open.)

September- The capital of California is "C"... isn't it?

October- Hate M&M's... (they are so hard to peel.)

November- Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... (instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!)

December- Couldn't call 911... "duh"... (there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!)


utenzi said...

Michele sent me over this time, Judy.

I must admit--I'd have loved to have seen that swimming contest. If the girl thought she had a chance just using her...alternative appendages..then it must have been quite a show!

Anonymous said...

Those are funny Judy and making me feel better!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Oh, gawd! This is funny! Love it.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Very very funny!

Greg Finnegan said...

Thank you for publishing those. They are great.

I am not allowed to publilsh the like. Actually not allowed to read them, either. So I'll sign this -


(See? Maybe I'm blond!)

Raggedy said...

So many people sent me that joke in the mail I wondered if they were trying to say something to me.
I am glad you got it too!
What a relief.
Funny Stuff. My favorite is the 911

Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm trying to picture how one would use their breasts to do the breast stroke. TOO funny!

The cartoon is a HOOOT!

Your dynamic duo post below is precious.
Why is it that sticking our tongue out a bit means we are really concentrating? I think we all do that from time to time during certain tasks.

Anonymous said...

My favorite blonde joke, that I got from my best friend's blonde wife:

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which horse was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear
off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.

Carmi said...

These are deliciously funny, Judy. I laughed harder as I finished each one. Thanks for the smile: the weather's been frightful all day, so some funniness is certainly welcome around here.

Terri said...

These are a hoot and makes me even happier that I'm a
Loved the breast stroke one and the capital "C"

Anonymous said...

"Did you ever stop to think... And forget to start again?"

Those are great!

Via Michele,


sage said...

I gotta start going back to the laundry!

srp said...

These reminded me of the girl who really and truly believed that Cheerios were doughnut seeds. She was the same one who tried to iron her paper lab coat to get the creases out and set it on fire.

I am NOT kidding! I had the dubious pleasure of knowing this person.

I wish this cold weather would go ahead and get here.... we seem to be holding our breath. Today was straight up hot... 72 as a high, still 68 at 9PM. A little wind, on and off clouds but all in all great!

Beverly said...

Boy, you can't stay away from here for a day without missing something. That is so funny.