Sunday, January 28, 2007

Post # 1,000 (yeah, really, it is)


As you slide down the banister of life, remember.....

Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."


My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. (a personal favorite!)


A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was And found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies Could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a will. He said,"Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."


As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

16 comments:

craziequeen said...

I just love this, Judy :-)

'The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.'

oh so true.....

cq
Here from Michele today

Beverly said...

Oh, I love the turn signal fluid. I guess i better get mine checked.

Beverly said...

BTW, congratulations.

Anna said...

What a milestone! I love the jokes!!!

Imagesmith said...

Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy!! You are a ray of sunshine this gray morning

Bob-kat said...

Congratulations!

I think your favourite one is mine also :-) I did like the one about the bathroom too. Made me smile.

StupendousWoman said...

Wow this cheered me up! Thanks Judy.

And bravo on your 1000th post! That's qute impressive. (And now, by the way, I'm the one who can't keep up with your many posts!)

bluemountainmama said...

wow- 1000 posts!!! and...thanks for the laugh this morning!

Raggedy said...

Woooooooooooohooooooooo!
Congratulations on post 1,000!
Lol@funnies. The husband one was my favorite as well and it sooo true!
I am so glad you got your template fixed! Your blog is lookin good.^5
I am way to scared to switch, I am still on the old blogger.
I don't know a soul that can help me with blog stuff. I am glad you had some people to help. Even with the old blogger I am having touble with my template because it looks one way in firefox and another way in IE and I can't match them up. I can't find a soul to tell me the html code for putting a line just a line like ---------- in my sidebar or even how to put empty space between items so that my buttons and sidebar things are not stacked on top of each other. *sigh
Everyone has proper spacing and lines in their sidebars but nobody knows how they did it.
The point is that I can even find an answer to what should be a simple question so to change templates or switching to the new blogger terrifies me.
I am not techy enough to do blogrolling or any of that stuff. All my links for my sidebar I typed in one by one on my template.
LOL I don't why I am babbling on.
I am pathetic at learning computer things.

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Tammy said...

What a great way to celebrate your 1000th post!!
Loved it and congratulations!!
:-D

Begered said...

1000?!? Wow, that's great. I think I am on only on #56 or something.
That was a great list. I really needed that laugh today. Loved the one about sex in the movies...too cute.

Michele sent me over today.

panthergirl said...

Happy 1000th!

Thumper said...

=snort=

Soooo true on the husband one...

srp said...

I am so glad you didn't lose all your template and have it back now. Perhaps I will wait and see how it goes before trying mine.

I particularly like the one about the flagpole and the condemned building.... too funny!

Peter said...

Congratulations on 1000 Judy, that makes you VERY nearly twice as good as me.

Shephard said...

love these... esp. the rabies list.
~S