Sunday, July 02, 2006

Workplace Vocabulary for 2006

Thanks to all of you who visited and left congratulations on the post yesterday. We appreciate all the nice comments!

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6 PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson, another. Rubber-Lips and Brad's baby yet another.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning justabove the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere areoften profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they weredesigned to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly thesame no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, andsubdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake)

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.


The Flamingess said...

Happy anniversary - let's hear it for inertia and being comfortable with the status quo.

Here from Michele's

Hale McKay said...

LOL! I loved these. It's been 11 years since i worked in an office - they worked then too.

Happy 4th, Judy.

Raggedy said...

Great List! I am laughing so hard at some of these. How true most of them are too! Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

srp said...

I think I have mastered #13.
These are too too funny.

Peter said...

Hi Judy, sorry I missed your anniversary, happy anniversary to you both, liked the inertia comment and I knew you were joking??
Also very good post today.

Star said...

I've had a few of those OHNOSECONDS. Cute list!

Carmi said...

Yup, applies to pretty much every place I've ever worked.

I wish I knew why some workplaces were so sucky and toxic. You'd think that leaders in these places would want to clean things up so that everyone could lead better lives.

I guess not. Sad.

Terri said...

The English language just keeps changing....I can see I'm way behind the times.

Shephard said...

Oh, I'm SO going to use WOOFS! That made me laugh.


bernadette said...

My hometown actually celebrates Salmon Days!

Congrats to you and Fabian below! We're mere pikers here with only 30 years under our belts.

May I say that you are a beauty? Because you are!!

yellojkt said...

I used to have a seagull boss. He would literally fly in from out of town for one day. I love that list.

michele sent me, but I come around pretty often on my own.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I loved all these.

Yours sincerely,


bornfool said...

I think I'm having a 404 moment. I just commented and it's not here.

Star said...

Hi Judy- Michele sent me back again today. Enjoy the fourth!

cyndy said...

Hi Judy
I'm here from Michele's Meet and greet.
Happy 4th of July to you

Shane said...

heh heh. enjoyed

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Oh, how I love words and play on words. Terrific post, Kenju! So interesting. :D