Sunday, April 30, 2006

Dolly Parton and the P.M.S. Blues

I just got this in an email; Dolly sings the lyrics too. I don't know how to put audio in the blog - so just enjoy reading it.

Eve you wicked woman, you done put your curse on me
Why didn't you just leave that apple hangin' in the tree?
You make us hate our husbands, our lovers and our boss
Why I can't even count the good friends I've already lost
Cause of... PMS blues, PMS blues!!

I don't even like myself, but it's something I can't help
I got those God almighty, slap somebody PMS blues
Most times I'm easy going, some say I'm good as gold
But when I'm PMS I tell ya, I turn mean and cold
Those not afflicted with it are affected just the same
Poor old men didn't have to grin and say "I feel your pain"
PMS blues... PMS blues...
You know you must forgive us for we care not what we do
I got those can't stop crying, dishes flying PMS blues
But you know we can't help it We don't even know the cause
But as soon as this part's over, then comes the menopause
Oh, Lord... Oh, Lord...
We're going to always be a heap of fun
Like the devil Taking over my body, suffering, suffering, suffering
Everybody's suffering, huh?
But a woman had to write this song, a man would be scared to
Lest he be called a chauvinist or just fall victim to Those.... PMS blues!!!
You know we'd kill for less than that PMS blues!!!!
You don't want to cross my path Cause a pitbull Ain't no match
For these teeth a clenchin', Fluid Retention, Head a swellin',
can't stop yellin' Got noPatience, I'm so hateful PMS blues,
premenstrual syndrome Got those moods a swingin', tears a slingin'
Nothin' fits me when it hits me Rantin', ravin', misbehavin' PMS blues!!!!
It's the only time in my life I ever think about wishing I'd been a man
But you know that only means one thing If I'd have been a man,
I'd be somewhere right this very minute With some old cranky, naggin', raggin' hateful woman With those old... PMS blues... PMS blues
I don't want to talk about it, we both could do without it
Got those treat your kids bad, don't you talk back, Gone ballistic, unrealistic
Awful lowdown, bitch to be around... PMS blues!!!


Claire said...

Amen to that!!

Here via Michele's!

colleen said...

I would think she'd be singing about menopausal blues by now!

keda said...

i'm virtually speechless!


love the old kitchen diner below too!
here via michele today babe* hope you had a good weekend.

margalit said...

Oh yeah, you sing it Judy! This is my daughter in a nutshell. She's got the worst PMS, poor kid. She's only 13 and she's suffering mightily.

Me, I'm on my way to the rainbow bridge, but I still PMS on her cycle. Had anyone told me this was gonna happen I would have killed them!

Here via Michele

Dara said...

I'll have to start listening to country radio to hear this song!
Here via Michele. said...

Rodney Dangerfield:

I took my wife to the doctor because I thought she had PMS, but the doctor came out and said "No she's just a bitch!"

utenzi said...

Michele sent me by, Judy.

I've been lucky. Most of the women that have been in my life have been pretty stable around menstrual time. I have heard stories though! In any case, a number of the lines in the song were easy to relate to events and women I've known in some sense. Gotta love those hormones. They make men and women do some pretty strange things!

Hale McKay said...

and to think at one time that song woul have been banned.

srp said...

Oh Judy, Oh my.
Thank goodness I took care of that a couple of years ago.
YEAH. Best idea I had in a long time.

srp said...

Back again to say that Michele sent me. I kinda got the cart before the horse.

deputyswife said...

Boy that song tells the truth!!!

Michele sent me!

Grins said...

I haven't heard that song before but I can so imagine Dolly singing it. Here via Michele and off to explore more of your blog.

scrappintwinmom said...

That's hysterical! I myself am very much looking forward to menopause. Here via Michele!

Carmi said...

I love this tune. I think reading it was more powerful than the audio would have been. The sounds of Dolly in my mind's ear are more impactful than any MP3 or WAV file would be.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL! I haven't ever heard this song but it sure is on the button, isn't it? Very Funny, and so damn true!

BTW Judy, I wanted you to know that on my Martha Graham post, if you click on the piece of paper where I copied that quotation it is bigger and I think you can read it...It is the same as what is on the top, but I just thought it would be kind of interesting to post it cause it looks so tattered...and faded.

Peter said...

Anything Dolly sings is OK with me Judy.
Loved your Presedential Portraits.

Peter said...

Thanks for the comment on peters pictures Judy, "Dad" may well be right here, we reckon it's pretty close to heaven.

goldenlucyd said...

Even without 'em I can get pretty darn cranky.

David ParsonsWV said...

Dolly is 60 now. I hope the PMS Blues have past her by years ago. I have the Andropause Blues. That is the male version of menopause.
"When your plumbin' starts to slow down,
And all you wear on your face is a frown,
You have got the ANYpause blues.
When a guy can't get to half mast,
And a woman's desire ain't gonna last,
You have got the ANYpause blues."

Carolyn said...

Oh Lord I got 'em
I got the PMS blue-ooohs!

Love it!!

Jamie Dawn said...

Hold on! I need to find somebody to slap!!

The pics below are hilarious... and scary.

Weary Hag said...

haha I agree with Colleen. In fact, I would have thought she'd be just about finished with menopause by now! Very cute song though... thanks for sharing.