The Waffle House and the Wacky Waitress

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Today, as we drove back to Raleigh from my son's home, we stopped at a Waffle House for lunch; not a common place for us but it will do in a pinch when I am craving a waffle. We have a history with Waffle House; when the children were small, I would take them at least once a week to a Waffle House for lunch or afterschool snack. They hated it. They would beg to go to McDonalds or Hardees; places I shun whenever possible. My middle child was the worst at whining about having to eat there. The others tolerated it, but she really professed a hatred for the place. Funny thing is, she came to love it, and her first husband told me that whenever they were on a trip, she would ask to stop at a Waffle House. I marvelled at how quickly they can change their minds! Perhaps her childhood memories of the place changed her attitude toward it.

The waitress at the Waffle House today was one in a million. After we ate, and she was totalling our check, she opened a conversation by saying.....

"Where are you from?"

I replied, "Raleigh......not too far from here" and asked her where she was from.

She said, "I'm not from here - I'm not from this planet."

I said, "You aren't? Well, where are you from?" and she answered....

"Do you remember Mork and Mindy?" I said that I did, and then she said....

"I'm from the planet next to Ork. I've been waiting for ET to come and get me."

As Mr. kenju and I sort of chuckled at that, she said....."I live with a snake."

I said, "Would that be a human snake or a reptile?" and she replied

"Well, a human too, but I meant a real one. He was this long and about that big around" (as she made hand signals to measure 10-12 feet and 5" in diameter). I had nothing to say about that, figuring that anything I could come up with would just egg her on to even greater flights of fancy. So we paid the check and left.

If you ever write a book, you might first do cultural research in various Waffle Houses across the country. Some of the most interesting looking (and often revolting) people hang out there; both as customers and employees. I suspect their lives would be fodder for some interesting (but hopefully not revolting) stories. I'm laughing already!

To answer a few questions: yes, she said it with a straight face; a face like a road map, I might add. She looked rather ancient, although considering my age, I should be kinder than to say that....LOL. I doubt she was on drugs (unless it was diuretics and heart meds) and yes, Naomi, it might have been a sugar high from all that syrup!