Sunday, October 02, 2005

?????Questions?????

Things You Ponder During Life...


1. Do you need a silencer if you are going to kill a mime?

2. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

3. How does the guy who drives the snow plough get to work in the morning?

4. If 7-11 is open 24-hrs a day, 365 days a year why are there locks on the door?

5. If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out her nose?

6. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

7. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

8. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

9. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

10. If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

11. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

12. If you have your finger touching the mirror that says "objects in mirror are closer than they appear," how is that possible?

13. If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

14. Why does your nose "run" and your feet "smell" ?

15. Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

16. Why is it called a "building" when its already built?

17. Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

18. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

19. How can someone draw a blank?

20. What is another word for "thesaurus"?

21. If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

22. When they ship styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

29 comments:

kram4420 said...

hey your questions were funny as shit. michele sent me

srp said...

This is too funny. Thinking of answers though makes my head hurt. Time for sleep.

Jamie Dawn said...

Those are mind boggling questions!

Pirate said...

Now you'll have be pondering all day long. Dammit.

Windfall Woman said...

LOL.......thought provoking questions! I'll be back.

Pieces of Me said...

LMAO! I love the kamikaze, instant water, styrofoam, etc...they are so funny!! Pondering....Here via Michele..TTYL

Huw said...

This puts me in mind of the age old question:

Who was the cruel bugger who decided 'dyslexia' should be so hard to spell?

Weary Hag said...

Haha... great post Judy! And I ask you, if something can be unkempt, how come it can never be kempt?

Mrs. Fun said...

i have read these before but they gave me a chuckle again, Thank you.
here via Micheles today :)

Sonia said...

Hi Kenju,
Thank you for your visit on my Blog!
May you teach me how make links? I don't understand how to do it.
May I link you to my Blog?
Regards, Sonia
e-mail: samascaro@uol.com.br

the frog princess said...

Making a belated trip here via Michele. I've seen those questions before; they're amusing!

Carmen said...

Why do slow up and slow down mean the same thing?

Do cemetary workers like the graveyard shift?

Here via Michele's. ;)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

It isn't "fat chance." It's Phat Chance. His nickname is Slim.

I am very surprised you didn't know this. But maybe you didn't spend any time in Vietnam.

Maria said...

Judy,
Thanks for these profound thoughts. Now when worries keep me awake at night, I will try think of these instead.

Carmi said...

This is so Steven Wright-ish....I'm going to be laying awake tonight pondering each and every one.

Thanks!

ribbiticus said...

OMG! We posted on a similar topic! What were the chances of that happening? Read through your list and my friends and I missed a lot of good ones. Hi, here via Michele today. :)

Oreo said...

HEHEHE Very funny! Thanks for visiting!!

Mary said...

Hi Kenju,
I tried copyting and pasting instruction for linking but it won't let me. If when you sign in to your blog you go to Blogger Help and look for links it tells you there how to do it.

Dan said...

Whoa, all that is way too deep for me! Michele sent me on this Sunday evening, and you've provided a bit of much needed light relief :-)

Cheers!

Canadian Mark said...

That's a good list. I had a couple of "laugh out loud" moments there. It happened enough, in fact, that I ended up having to read it out loud to my living room here. Thanks for the good time. Michele sent me.

honestyrain said...

you always make me smile. that was tons o fun.

i'm here because someone sent me but i can't think of who.... ;)

rockjock said...

STOP!!!! STOP!!! My brain is being overloaded. LOL

ensurt said...

It's always fun to visit your blog. Michele sent me this time.

Carol said...

How long did it take you to think of all these,Kenju?
Michele sent me.

Chatty said...

Oldie but a goodie.

Michele sent me.

the frog princess said...

Back again! Here via the M&G.

Morah Mommy said...

LOL! I love these questions!

Here via Michele, today!

Trinity13 said...

Love the questions!!!

Btw, Michele semt me!

Karen said...

This is great. I printed it out for my daughter - she'll love it.