Thursday, September 22, 2005

Science Test answers

Children's Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

11 comments:

Weary Hag said...

haha ... silly child. Everyone knows the fourth season is mayo.

(these were great, Judy!)

Romani Heart said...

I love these lists. It reminds me of when my daughter was younger and not as internet savvy and asked if she could order a book from "Amaze-On."

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.


So beautifully logical.

Melody said...

*smile*

How funny hey? Great answers that get us chuckling quietly to ourselves.

Suburban Turmoil said...

So cute. My mom wrote down silly answers I gave her to questions she asked and I want to do the same when my daughter's a little older. They're hilarious!

srp said...

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
So this is what happened to the guy I married. He went straight from delayed puberty to adultery.

rockjock said...

Real life is always the funniest. Thanks

Peter said...

Always funny, who has the time to collect them?

DayByDay4-2Day said...

Hello, Michele sent me.

I love the keep it in the cow!

utenzi said...

Those are almost all good answers and a few are even right--albeit in a skewed way. Like the milk answer. True, but not very helpful.

dena said...

How cute are those answers! Makes me wish I were an elementary school teacher!