When I was about 12, our local YWCA had dances on Friday nights for junior-high schoolers. One hot summer, I remember my group deciding to leave the Y and walk down the street to a theater where a "racy" film from Sweden was playing, called "Wild Strawberries". We did not have permission to leave the Y, of course, so little did we know that as soon as we left, they called all our parents and told them where to find us.
We had been in the theater about 40 minutes, watching what passed for soft-core porn in those days, but would probably be PG-13 now, when suddenly I saw my Mom enter from one of the side exits. She scrunched up her eyes trying to see me and I didn't duck quickly enough. Spotting me, she marched up the aisle like a storm-trooper, grabbed me by the ear and literally pulled me from the theater. Up to that time I had never been so embarrassed, but I topped that one many years later.........
Embarrasing moment number two came after I was married and had my first child. My husband and I had been invited to an event sponsored by a group to which his bosses' wife belonged, and then we were to go to breakfast afterward, at the home of another work associate. My babysitter was a married woman, who told me that she shouldn't be out too late due to her husband's back trouble; he had a slipped disc. As we were preparing to leave the breakfast, someone asked me why we had to leave so early - and I assure you I was stone cold sober, though you may never believe it - I replied that my babysitter's husband was in bed with a "stripped dick".
People rolled in the floor, holding their bellies and so did I. The laughter didn't die down for an hour.