On March 2nd, after 39 days at UNC Hospital, we moved Jim to a Hospice facility in Pittsboro, NC. It was not our first choice, but it was the only Hospice around with an available bed.
My daughter and I had to leave Jim about 4:30 at the hospital and drive to Pittsboro quickly, in order to sign papers. We waited and waited, and at 7pm, he arrived. After the nurses got him situated, they came to get us, and said...."He is awake, and mad." For a long time, he has had a lot of pain in his hip flexor and leg, related to the stroke he had in 2007. Moving him was torture for him, and he avoided it like the plague. So he was not pleased at being taken from his hospital bed, placed on a gurney, put into an ambulance and taking a 30 minute ride to Hospice. After which, he was taken from the gurney, and put into another bed.
I guess the trip hurt him and he was not happy abut it, so they sedated him to rid him of pain, and by the time we got to the room, he was asleep again. We stayed a while, and after our son arrived to spend the night with Jim, our daughter and I left to eat dinner and go home. But, we said our goodbyes to Jim and promised to return to see him the next day.
That night, I took melatonin so that I might sleep well. I was so tired that I went to bed early. At 4 am, I awoke, and stayed in bed, in hopes I'd go back to sleep. At 6:40 am, I heard my name just as clearly as if he were in the next room. I sat up in bed and said..."Jim, is that you?" of course, I had no answer, but I sort of knew then that he was gone.
At 7:15, my daughter and granddaughter came into my bedroom to wake me, and I thought they said "Papa's fine." but further clarification proved he was gone. Time of death was called at 6:35. I have no doubt that he came to say goodbye to me before going to Heaven. It is so gratifying to know that! He was always a wonderful man, and he will continue to look after us, and I am sure of that.
3 comments:
Sending you love and hugs. We just lost our much loved brother-in-law early in Feb. I woke up at 2:30am because I though I heard him talking to me. That was around when he passed. I am sure your Jim is watching with love over you all.
I am deeply sorry for your loss, such an easy thing to let slip off the tongue, but truly I am sorry for this first loss and the many that will come after that. I lost my husband two years ago and the world is a different place. It never goes away, the sadness, but it gets lighter, and easier to carry. I finally came to realize that grief is carried and it is never forgotten. Best to you and your dear family. I know you will miss Jim greatly.
I know that was Jim calling you.
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