Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Trump Started it All (ME TOO!)

Trump's admission of guilt and the video that prompted it - which he now is trying to rescind - started women thinking about the times they were harassed in a sexual manner by what appears to be mostly rich, old, white men - although I suspect that men of color have been guilty too (other than Bill Cosby.) Said women, I imagine,  decided that telling about the harassment would now be the right thing to do, even though they didn't report it to authorities when it happened. There is safety in numbers, after all.

Have you been sexually harassed?  Did you tell anyone when it happened?  NO?  I didn't either, for fear that I would be held responsible somehow, by my actions, or the way I dress or something I said. That these things happened when I was a teenager/young woman is beside the point. Of course, the men who harassed me were not famous, so reporting it now would have no consequences for them. Several of them may be deceased anyway.

Three times before I turned 24, men exposed themselves in my presence. Each time, I was alone and had no way to report them. I was scared to scream, for fear of what might happen. Afterward, I could not describe any of them, so reporting them didn't matter.

While a student in high school, I was sent to a teacher's office with a message during class. He chased me around his desk twice before I escaped. I can't remember his name now, but his father was well-known in Methodist circles and the teacher also had a Sunday school  class at my church. I never reported that to the principal or dean of women, for fear I'd be adjudged the cause of it, or had welcomed it - which was certainly not the case.

It would not do any good to report these incidents now, since the first 3 men are unknown and the 4th is most probably deceased by now.

The 5th incident happened on a first date. The guy was determined to get me in a position to be attacked, and had it not been for my ability to pray and curse at the same time, I might have been raped. He started laughing and that, of course, meant he "lost the mood". He took me home, unharmed.  Reporting him now would be useless, as he may be deceased too, and nothing really happened - although at the time I was convinced it would have, had I not fought back, both physically and verbally.


Pat said...

I recognise that feeling of 'it must be my fault'. Oddly in my modelling days nothing happened but later it did with a Minister of the Church, a Head Master and a guest in my house. No violence just acute embarrassment and guilt on my part.
Changing the subject I actually won the last game and have lost you again. Do your magic please.

Star said...

How brave of you to tell your story Judy. Is it like a weight off your chest. I imagine it could be. I would doubt there is a woman alive without a story. I agree that Trump started it all. I think it is far from over.

tiff said...

I wonder if there is a woman alive who has not been the object of unwanted sexual advances. It's a terrible thought. My own experiences with sexual attack and rape are all too common, it's sad to say. Maddening.

Snickelfritz said...

I believe Bill Clinton started it all if I remember correctly. Remember the blue dress? There is no blue dress with President Trump, yet Bill Clinton got a pass. Why is that?

kenju said...

I think you may have misunderstood me when I said Trump- started it all.

What I meant was that Trump started women thinking about all the sexual abuse they have had to deal with and got women to feel freer to tell on the people who had done it. And since there is strength in numbers, the more women who tell - the more who will feel free to do it too.

Bill Clinton's escapade was different, in that the woman was a willing participant, in fact she approached him first, according to her. He didn't abuse her against her will. I am not excusing it, but it is far different than Trump - who grabbed and kissed without asking first, and thought it was okay to do so because he "was a star".

I tried to post this on your blog, but I cannot understand the verbal verification words. I am hard of hearing.

Tabor said...

I think you cannot do anything about the past but certainly you can assure younger women that you may know, that they can speak out and should.