Thursday, December 07, 2006

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. (Duh!)

The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. (as are bare toes)

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. (Sho 'nuff!)

Note: the illustration is another of the paper cut-outs I have from the 70's or 80's.


Karen said...

Very true and funny, Judy! Stopping by via Michele's today. Hope you're well!

Anonymous said...

I think I live by those lesser known laws!

srp said...

I think these are the cutest cut outs. Well, the tree is up but apparently I didn't judge the spacing of the garland beads right and I need three more strands. The cats are extremely happy about the tree skirt and the ornaments. Yes, I put the soft, non-breakable ones on the bottom so they can bat at will.

How many more places do you have to decorate, or are you done now?

rennratt said...

The 'live by the sword' comment is my screensaver at work.

utenzi said...

Those are all pretty much true, Judy. As for your comment on Michele's blog: I'm supposed to be over in Apex this weekend but my girlfriend, who has her two kids "temporarily" living with her again, is so sick of dealing with them that she's escaping to my house for the weekend. It's hilarious 'cause she's always trying to tell me that she loves having them there. As if!

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

sarah said...

all of those are so true.


too funny.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

Seamus said...

"Sho 'nuff" is so right on the last one!!! LOL

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

These are fun!! LOL
I LOVE that snowman...such a happy happy guy, isn't he?
All of these keepsakes are in pristine condition, Judy....And They Are ALL Fabulous!

Elle said...

My grandmother had the same snowman cutout. I can still picture him taped to the living room mirror surrounded by some garland and balls.

Thanks Judy! I needed that this morning! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Judy ~ Just popped in to see what you were doing and I found the Murphy's Laws
that I also posted today. Sorry about that, but we have different readers, and I left a few out. The party at the Masion sounds great, and so were all the decorations that you did. Take care,
Love, Merle.

Claire said...

Great list here!! Came over from Michele's!!

Terri said...

That Murphy was a pretty clever guy. said...

My middle name is Murphy!!!

Jay said...

Thanks for a good dose of morning funnies.

Kristi said...

LOL. These were great. Thanks for the giggle.

bluemountainmama said...

those are great- they made for a good friday laugh!!!

Greg Finnegan said...

Those ring very true, Judy!

Anonymous said...

the jury duty one is absolutely true!

michele sent me tonight.

Anonymous said...

Have these earmarked for posting Judy... I'll have to wait a while now, funny stuff.

Carmi said...

The wisdom of the ages never ceases to teach me that I need to spend more time observing and less time talking.