Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Ponderables

Can you cry under water?

(I had a great cartoon for this one and Blogger will NOT let me add it to the post!)




How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?




Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?




Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing
the clothes you were buried in for eternity?




Why does a round pizza come in a square box?




What disease did cured ham actually have?




How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?




Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?




If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?




Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?




Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?




Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?



Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?




Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?




Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?




If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?




If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?




Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?




Why did you just try singing the two songs above?



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?




Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

17 comments:

Loren said...

Yes ;-)

Pickalish said...

Those were great!

Anonymous said...

What disease did cured ham actually have?

You know Judy, I've always wondered about this too, guess that's another thing needs to be cured.

Maria said...

I have been laughing and laughing over these. Now Judy, you really have me pondering. If I do not sleep tonight I will blame it on your post.

Inanna said...

Yes, you CAN cry under water. I laughed out loud at some of these. Thanks, Judy.

srp said...

Someone was REALLY bored here. :)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL...These are great Judy....There are so many and each one is better than the last! You gave me a GOOD Laugh! Thanks my dear...!

Judy said...

Most of these were new to me... now I can't wait to share them! Thanks for an interesting post.

Alan G said...

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Because there are a few wierd, I prefer excentric, individuals who wouldn't have there toast any other way. Most everytime I fix toast, and I do love rye bread toast, my fire alarm goes off.

Now there's some good toast!!

bluemountainmama said...

ahh....deep thoughts! i love stuff like this- hilarious!!!

Sparkling Diamond said...

Heehee...loved these! And I hadn't thought about crying under water...I always cry in the bathtub ;D

Seamus said...

HAHAHAHA!

If you blow in the Buffledog's face you'll get a face FULL of doggie kisses!!!!

PI said...

I'd love to have the sort of Lateral thinking brain that can think these things up. They are quite brilliant

Carmi said...

I love these. They're definitely candidates for being printed and posted on my bulletin board at the office. Whenever I need a little smile, they'll be there.

Anonymous said...

Good questions! Inquiring minds want to know!

Shephard said...

ok, my faves are:
In a Movie/On TV
and
Tall Buildings/binoculars

Those cracked me up!
~S

colleen said...

I for one did hum ABC/Twinkle Twinkle! These did get me thinking!