Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Oldies

I'm too tired to post tonight and I am all out of pre-written drafts - so what do you get? Tired old jokes. I hope you haven't seen them before.......

REVENGE:

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE):

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR:

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."He addressed the man,"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?

"Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

12 comments:

Inanna said...

Oldies but goodies!

Loved the quotes below and Cirque is awesome! Sorry about your back. Some stretches may help that.

srp said...

I must say that last one was priceless. A man at a marriage seminar on communication must be as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Bless his heart! NO wonder he thought it was flour. :)

Claire said...

These are great...the tv remote one was my favourite!!

Laura said...

Judy, these were hilarious!!! I bust out laughing over the remote one especially. Going to email these to a few of my friends, thanks!

colleen said...

When my dad was in the hospital, we brought him his remote to hold. It made him so much more comfortable even if it didn't work.

utenzi said...

What's up with the gay porn down in the post below, Judy? LOL You're venturing into new and strange areas!

christine said...

These were good for a giggle and sometimes there is no better remedy than to laugh at an old joke! Thanks for making me smile.

Wordnerd said...

I love when you post jokes -- these were great! Get some rest!!!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, these were all new to me! Thanks for the laugh.

Shephard said...

lol... great! I hadn't heard those!
I love the first one.
~S

Mildred Garfield said...

Loved "the flower one."

Beverly said...

The flower one is the best...that husband deserves to be shot.