Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Odds and Ends ~ 13


O x y m o r o ns:

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do tug boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposite?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

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If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. It it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

E.B. White, writer (1899-1985)
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A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Antoine deSaint-Exupery, author and aviator (1900-1945)

9 comments:

MareDog said...

I feel guilty because I haven't yet written to tell you how very much I look forward to your blog each day. I love the neat quotes, the funny lists, the great pictures of your work. Keep 'em coming!

kenju said...

Maredog, how nice of you to comment! Thanks - and I hope you'll come back often.

Malinda777 said...

Just goes to show that before there was mass media, we were mind f***n ourselves decades ago. (Please forgive my hint of a bad word, I do respect your site).

I love the quotes at the bottom, I really think I relate to the first one...just never thought of it like that :)

Alan G said...

Love oxymorons...

Thanks for posting these. One of my favorites has always been "Jumbo Shrimp".

srp said...

I love the quotes. With regard to the "odds and ends", what ARE "odds and ends"? It makes my head hurt.

Maya's Granny said...

Well, why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? I laughed at your list, which I needed to do. Thanks.

Shephard said...

Okay, I LOVE the "all the world's a stage" line. THAT is pricless. I LOVE it! Made me laugh.

And the E.B. White quote is wonderful. Adding it to my collection.

~S :)

PI said...

These are brilliant and so valid. especially 'after dark'!

Kate Winner said...

Love this - esepcially 'odds & ends'! Still laughing out loud.
I popped over here from TGB to see what's on your kitchen wall. Thanks for sharing. I'll be back