Sunday, July 23, 2006

They Walk Among Us!

An email beauty!

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:"Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.

Caution . . . . . They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific"

They Walk Among Us!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?

They Walk Among Us!

While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. . . . Yep, They Walk Among Us too. They walk among us, and they REPRODUCE ......AND..... Even worse.........THEY VOTE!!


Miss Cow is a Cow said...

Yes they do. They Vote.


Here via Michele's.

Sonia said...

It's so cool to have a good laugh just in the morning, Judy!
All them is funny, but I love most the first one and the last one about the Pizza. Lol!
Have a nice Sunday!

David said...

funny - good morning!
yes i write my own stuff.
peace to you, from on high

Vickie said...

I live in London, England. The other day my co-worker asked what time it was in Edinburgh, thinking that it must be in a different time zone.

They do indeed walk among us.

Here from Michelle's!

claude said...

Thanks for the laugh! My favourite is your sister's lifesaving tool in her trunk. LOL

Gerbera Daisy said...

I LOVED this!!! It reminded me of something I overheard a customoron saying in the cafe of the Big Bookstore I work the other day. Upon trying to place an order, she states to the barista, "I don't know if I want a drink or a beverage."


poopie said...

Holy hell! That nose ring and earring thing creeps me out.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOl...Very very cute!

Judy, I used to have some greetings cards by that lady....very charming....plessing to the eye...but don't go to any trouble to look for more drawings...if you happen upon them, that would be terrific, but if not, that's fine, too! said...

True Story: One night while gazing at a beautiful full moon, my great-aunt wondered whether that was the same moon that rises over Florida.


Sue said...

The person wearing the nose ring attached to the earring with a chain surely must live somewhere near me. (In fact I'm fairly sure there's more than one of them!!!)

Carmi said...

Stop the planet; I want to get off!

I'm no longer surprised by the ability of humans to push the stupidity barrier. Just when I think a new threshold has been reached, I read missives like this that reconfirm why the barrier will never stop moving.

Endless dumbth. What a concept!

Shephard said...

LOL... very funny.
And scary.
That they vote. lol

Loved this.

Raggedy said...

LOL we must get the same mail..
I liked the words to live by stuff too!
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

srp said...

Reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy (although I am not usually a fan) bit or song he did about "Here's Your Sign". He basically said all the people who "walk among us" should have to wear a sign identifying them to normal people.

Jewaira said...


Alan G said...

Hi Kenju,

Came over from Claude’s place. Loved your post! I have a couple I would like to share if I may.

Leaving a restaurant, my meal was like $7 so I handed the cashier a $10 bill. She gave me back a $10 bill and change. After realizing what she had done I handed back the $10 bill and change and said, “I only gave you a $10 bill.” After a brief moment she reached in the cash drawer and then handed me a $20 bill and some change. I said thank you and left.

In the Air Force I was working on an aircraft out on the flight line. When finished I went to the closest hanger and called my shop on the phone and ask that they call the local dispatch truck to come and pick me up at the hanger since I had completed the job. The guy on the phone said, “Why don’t you call the dispatcher yourself.” I then said there wasn’t a phone available to call them from out here. He said okay, I will call them and hung up.

Peter said...

If only all the emails were this good Judy, this one and Philosophy were great.
Hope your tyre wasn't ruined.

Stu Savory said...

In this country (Germany) the TV shows are getting more stupid all the time, they're full of prolls who 'walk among us'. Next TV set I buy will have a filter-knob to select the minimal intelligence level! This current set has a knob labelled "Brightness" but it doesn't seem to do that ;-)

Chancy said...

Judy, Judy, Judy...

Good ones Thanks for the laugh

Terri said...

Too funny, Judy! And yes...that was the scariest part....they VOTE! That pretty much sums it all up, doesn't it?

naomi dagen bloom said...

here's the most frightening thought: "US" is a shrinking part of the population, not reproducing ourselves. but we keep on voting (my effort to be a bit upbeat)!

PI said...

Oddly I find this strangely comforting - there are people dumber than I.

Merle said...

Hi Judy ~ These were all so funny, Thanks for the laughs. Cheers, Merle.

Anonymous said...

how the heck do you send this thing?!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The lady doing my registration at an after hours clinic was, for some reason, bothered by the "Sr" after my name. Could she remove it? "That is unless it's on your birth certificate."