Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Are you tired of all those sissy-ass "friendship"
poems that always sound good, but never actually
come close to reality? Well, here is a series of
promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry son of a bitch who
made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge what
is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it
every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be and to quit
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me
until you are well again. I don't want whatever the
hell you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end.
"Why?" you may ask, because you are my friend.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A
really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I should bring a shovel.