Thursday, January 05, 2006

Daffy Definitions

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do.
3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
11. MISTY: How golfers create divots
12. PARADOX: Two physicians
13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with
16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

I did not write these.....I received them in email. If I had to pick a favorite - I'd say # 14.


srp said...

I would probably be guilty of #11 if I attempted to play golf. Oh, I am here from Michele's this time and I really had a clicking mess there.

Lazy Daisy said...

Way too funny....I also read your other post...Whoo go girl. Wendy directed me here .

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

These are quite wonderful, Judy! Really clever and funny, too!

poppy said...

Hi kenju--I'm here from Michelle.

Those definitions are the silliest things I've read in days. I'm going to show them to my kids--thanks!

WendyWings said...

LOL I might have to borrow these to pass on :)

Crazy MomCat said...

Too funny! And, I love the quote at the top of your banner too. have a nice evening! Michele sent me.-

The Cryer said...

Heee... I like #12. Of course it now has me humming Gilbert and Sullivan.

Michele sent me! Cheers!

Peter said...

All good for a chuckle Judy,

Merle said...

Hi Judy ~~ These are very clever and so funny. It seems we all like lists of things.

Thanks for your comments on Herons Nest.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Once again, thanks for the laughs! Those were great!

Here via Michele's

Chele In {dot} LA said...

I love those difinitions..
they are great..
I especially like 20....
Oh the other michele sent me..

vicki said...

These are all pretty clever and funny. I like #1 and, of course, I always like #18. You get better e-mail than I do Judy. I just keep getting offers that would first require several years of transgender surgery. Oh, and folks who can reduce the payment on my mortgage that has 8 years to go at 5% by extending it to 30 years at 7.6%.

Lisa said...

LOL! Those are great. I think my favorite is #8

Inanna said...

Eyedropper really made me chuckle.

Karen said...

Love these kind of jokes!

Hello, Michele sent me.

Jamie Dawn said...

I like #5, Control. I had to go back and kind of "figure" that one out.
I also very much enjoy #18. In fact, my neck could use a good rub right now.

Shelli said...

Very funny!

Suburban Turmoil said...

These are funny! My mom did this with my brother and me when we were little. She asked us the definition of various "bigger" words and wrote down our answers. It was hilarious. I just remember that one of us said "mildew" was "bird doo doo." Now I'm going to do this with my daughter.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Hi Judy...
Michele sent me back here this morning!

Still think these are very funny!

Joe said...

Too funny! I may has to pass these along.

Here via Michele.

jeni said...

hi judy! :) sent here via michele's.

i hadn't seen these before!! LOL!!

starbender said...

Those were funny!

Amy said...

Those are great!!

Hi, Michele sent me.

Karen said...

Ha! These were good, thanks for sharing!

Michele sent me!