Monday, December 12, 2005

The Best Cookie Recipe!

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar.. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup , just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry lloose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl out, finish the Jose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.



Peter said...

Now they are my kind of cookies Judy.
Sherry mismash to u too.

utenzi said...

Have a veery cherry mistmas to you also, Judy. And a happy *hic* neu year too.

Bhakti said...

LMFOROMA!!!! (Laughing my floor off rolling on my *ss!!!)

Bhakti said...

p.s. You've earned yourself another link in my comment section!!!!! :)

Mildred Garfield said...

That was the best recipe yet!! Beats my rum balls by a mile!!

Cherry Mistmas to you too!!


Shelli said...

Very funny! I would have been sick half way through the recipe.

Duke_of_Earle said...

I thought you were supposed to use vodka! No wonder mine came out all over the kitchen floor.

I'll try your recipe tomorrow!


Anonymous said...

That reminds me of a poem I learned oh so many years ago:

Starkel, starkel little twink
who the hell I are you think
I am not under the alcholfluence
of inckahall as some thinkle peek I are
I enjoy your blog


YellowRose said...

Now that's my kind of baking!!!!! LOL

Jamie Dawn said...

I MUST try that recipe!
I rarely drink, but when I was on vacation with my parents & bro, I had some sips of my mom's mint julep and then drank a drink of my own. They had quite a laugh when I couldn't say the word "asparagus" correctly. I didn't drink any more after that; I was afraid I would't be able to walk out of there.
Gotta go now and "greash the oven."

Paula said...

That's great!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

This is riotonius, Judy. Wice nork.

Arethusa said...

This is perfect. Someone on my blog commented recently that I needed Christ--errr Mismash cookies to get me through finals and here you are with a recipe. I'm going to try it tomorrow! Thanks. :)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL! Very funny Judy...This is terrific! I've never seen this before...Thanks for the good laugh...!

Don't have a clue to what might have happened to your comments yesterday...a Blogger Glich?
Glad the last one got published!! (lol)

Paul said...

Thin bear. thun dat.

Grates cook makies!!

Carolyn said...

LOL! I twied your rethipee an I muss tay, hey tar gretty pood!

Star said...

Yeah! A cookie recipie even I can make. Does it come in break and bake?

Wordnerd said...

Decided to pay your page a visit after reading your comments on Metten & the WVSR -- love your blog. I'll be back!

vicki said...

I just knew you were Julia Child come back as a florist.
She's lucky she got prettier hands this time around.

srp said...

Are we sure that "anonymous" isn't really Hoss in disguise? This is a Julia Child moment indeed.

Plumkrazzee said...

I make a batch of these every Friday night! They are delicious. =) Michele sent me today.

Arethusa said...

Ok so they're in the oven--but I skipped a few of the drinking instructions. lol

David said...

you made me laugh - i had an idea lik etha a while back - you are so funny - thanks michele sent me back in time ----- ( twiglight zone music)