Monday, October 24, 2005

Random Questions

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuumcleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right? "Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurts, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

If at first you don't succeed, then don't take up skydiving!

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three bestfriends, if they're okay, then it's you.

Nope, can't claim this one either!

12 comments:

Zee said...

I've asked myself some of those very questions!

Weird...

colleen said...

I'm flabbergasted by some of these! And why do we shake things when they don't work...or even kick them?!

metten said...

I thought I wrote a couple of those...guess not

brendalove@gmail.com said...

"Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?"

I know a certain teenager to whom this applies beautifully!!!!

Paul said...

You are definitely on a roll. Good one again!

srp said...

When the web page won't load why do we click multiple times really hard with the mouse like it would make a difference?

jennypenny said...

i love your funny little things on your blog (haha i don't know what to call them) i read the anagrams a few days ago and this one made me laugh out loud again! i like visiting here, it always makes me smile

Sigmund, Carl and Alfred said...

"Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuumcleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?"

I'll be laughing for about a week.

Jamie Dawn said...

These have got me pondering and pondering...

Sandy said...

Ahh, something to ponder on a cold rainy day! ;) I came over via Michelle's btw.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

This is great! And the question on Michele's blog was just fabulous!
Thanks, Judy!

utenzi said...

Tarzan taught himself how to shave using his dead father's razor according to one account and in a short story there was a contradictory account of learning to shave-- to differentiate himself from his ape companions-- by using his steel knife.

Just saying...