Saturday, October 15, 2005

Language Improvements?

I'll leave it up to you!



The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Another email gem.......I didn't write it, people.

19 comments:

Ben said...

Ha! Very funny :)

Yaeli said...

I have seen this before but I find it very very funny!
Thanks for the giggle this morning.

Michele sent me today.

Peter said...

Hi Judy, I hope you don't mind if I borrow this for my pedantic son, see "holtpress" on my sidebar, I'll email it rather than duplicate your posting.
VERY FUNNY, VERY GERMAN SOUNDING.

Minerva said...

This so made me laugh...thank you Judy...
Thank you too for your supportive comments on my blog..I so appreciate them...

Minerva

srp said...

Too too funny. Who sends these to you?

princssis said...

Funny! It reminds me of the spelling errors my son makes! We do have some German blood in us, but we don't speak it! YIKES!

Thanks for the giggle. Michele sent me.

Peter said...

Thanks Judy, got you email too thanks.

Jamie Dawn said...

Zat vas klasik!

jennypenny said...

haha if only this were true that would be hilarious!! although i have bad enough spelling now. here from micheles.. didnt want you to get skipped :)

srp said...

Haven't read Bryson yet, but this is one of several quotes I've seen.. He intrigues me so I am searchin my local library for one of his books.

By the way, you have heard about the group of people (all very poor students) who were protesting being graded down because of their spelling? The picket signs read: Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE!!!!!!

All together now: EEWWWWEEEEEEWWWWW!

ribbiticus said...

i have read this before but i still find it funny. the person who wrote this must've been really clever. here via michele today. :)

Angie said...

Very witty. In some ways it reads like very old english documents if it were the 's' and 'f' in question.

mar said...

:D I had this once in my mailbox too, some people are very creative, I love it!! Happy Sunday, here via Michele's!

mar said...

and I hope it is nothing!! Take care.

rashbre said...

Sehr Komisch!
Mir freudliche gruesse!
Rashbre.

FuzzBuck Fuzz said...

Michele sent me.

One of those we all wish we'd written.

Michelle Pessoa said...

Whew! Thank God that's a joke.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

fonix!! sehr gut.

Kim said...

zat ist gud!