1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 . REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND:
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . .You wear pants don't you?
He said ... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She said . We don't know; it has never happened.
Nope, didn't write this one either!
15 comments:
Michele sorta sent me, Judy. It was after midnight so it's only a sorta.
I like the he said-she said part but all the examples seem to be from the feminine viewpoint and obviously mistaken. ;-)
I hope you have a nice calm week now that the weekend is over.
Now ... I realize this is said all too often in the comment arena, but when I tell you that I nearly spit my tea across the room on number four, and on the second "he said" ... trust me, it went up my nose instead, but just saying.
You are finding more than your fair share of funny material to work with Judy. This one is laugh out loud funny first thing this morning. Gene passed on the therapy cafe cartoon- and that I immediately passed to a group of colleagues I meet for lunch.
Thank you!
So, when you scan old photos what kind of scanner do you use? I'm wanting an expensive, small, easy to USB use for my laptop that does a pretty fair job.
You have opened the door for Hoss to walk in with something very witty. I am coming back after he makes his rounds.
I love this. It's hilarious! Thanks for a good laugh. I'll have to share it with my husband.
These are great. Thanks for sharing....
This proves that truth can sometimes be funny.
Reminds me of a story:
A man and his wife were having a fight; giving each other the silent treatment. They had not spoken in days and neither wanted to be the first to give in.
The husband had a business trip and a plane to catch and needed to be up by 5AM. In order not to break down and talk to his wife, but needing her to get him up; he left a note on her bedside table that read..."Wake me up at 5 AM."
The next morning the husband awoke to bright shining sun, birds singing, and when he looked at the clock it said 9AM. He had missed his plane. Ready to start screaming at his wife for not waking him, he saw a small piece of paper on his bedside table.
It read: "It's 5AM, GET UP!"
There must be a moral in there somewhere.
You are so on top of us. you have figured us big time.
He said: What does enlightenment mean?
She said: Discovering that the toilet paper goes in the "over the top" mode.
I was going to comment, but after all that male bashing I'm not sure I will. OK, I'll admit it, stereotypes can be funny. Glad I can't personally relate to any of those, though.
John
WOO-HOO!! I've been exempted!
Thanks, KJ!
John
FUNNY! Truly laughing out loud funny.
The truth hurts, huh guys?
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus! Some good ones here...gonna share them with my husband. The only one that didn't fit for me is that I'm the one with the remote control...flicking around (which doesn't mean a heck of a lot because we only get 4 channels!)
Being a male tip-toes in, types this quick comment and sneaks back out!
Very good! LOL!
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