1. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
2 . Divorce: Future tense of marriage
3 . Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
4 . Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
5 . Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he got the biggest piece.
6 . Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
7 . Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
8. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
9 . Ecstasy: A feeling you feel when you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
10 .Classic: A book which people often praise and seldom read.
11. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
12. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
13. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.
14. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
15 . Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
16 . Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
17 . Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
18. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
19. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
20. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
21 . Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
22. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
23. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
24. Father : A banker provided by nature.
25. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.
26 . Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
27 . Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.