Oh my dear kenju....This post created a wave of sadness for me because I know that it was written with anger that is enveloped in sadness. I understand your anger. Your daughter is left trying to explain what happen to daddy and your four wonderful grandchildren do not have the father that they should.
There truly is no answer to why...and it is very possible that even he has no answers. It is even more possible that he does not know the proper questions to ask himself.
My heart goes out to your daughter, to your grandchildren, and of course to YOU. We always want the best for our child...it is sad when we are given the opposite.
One day he might act like a father...I hope he knows how and that it is not too late.
I hope your daughter has found happiness now. I hope your grandchildren can somehow put away those memories of the angry house.
I did not choose wise the first time. Men like the one I married and your ex-son-in-law, I don't think they ever learn. Some questions will never have answers. In the long run it can only be better that those kinds of men don't come around. I know I said good riddance to mine.
I am sorry for your daughter and her children. I am glad they have you to love them. Alcohol does things to a person. I hope those precious children come through all of this okay. I hope you all can let go of some of your anger in time.
It's sad how many dads do that, but in the end, they're the ones who lose. Glad your daughter has found a good one. Maybe there's hope for all of us in that respect!
Ah-painful. All the way around. And so good that the intervening two years have brought such a wonderful transformation for your daughter and grandchildren. I'm sorry for their experience and the bruises left. Reading your words I am reminded of another wise thing my grandmother would say: A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child.
This story is very sad and so honestly written. It is tragic what happened to your daughters marriage and how hard it was also for your family. Going through a separation and divorce myself three years ago I know how hard it can be to have to look at someone and realise they aren't the person you thought they were and know to walk away rahter than sign up for a life of unhappiness. I think we want to believe the best of people.
I do believe wonderful things can come from difficult times and it sounds like you have lovely grandchildren and that your daughter has found happiness in a new marriage and what sounds more like a true partnership.Blessings in the end of all of that and I am sure future ones to come. =)
You really are a wonderful writer. Your story reminds me in many ways of my little sister's life...she also has twins who were basically shunned by their father. I hope that someday, she, too, will find a man to be good to her.
Michele sent me, once again, but you know I'll be wandering back thru on my own.
I left a comment, but don't know where it went...dang computer... I'm glad to know that she is now married to a wonderful person. Those children deserve a better father, but unfortunately, that isn't the case for everyone. He's missing out too, and I hope as he gets older that his days are bleak and miserable!
What a perfectly written letter, Judy. I'm sorry that you all went through this, but it sounds like A has a wonderful husband now, and I KNOW she has an incredible mom. Best wishes to her and her family.
13 comments:
Gosh, Judge. Just...I don't know. Hugs. That's all I got.
Rarely am I left speechless, but... but... I give up.
Oh my dear kenju....This post created a wave of sadness for me because I know that it was written with anger that is enveloped in sadness. I understand your anger. Your daughter is left trying to explain what happen to daddy and your four wonderful grandchildren do not have the father that they should.
There truly is no answer to why...and it is very possible that even he has no answers. It is even more possible that he does not know the proper questions to ask himself.
My heart goes out to your daughter, to your grandchildren, and of course to YOU. We always want the best for our child...it is sad when we are given the opposite.
One day he might act like a father...I hope he knows how and that it is not too late.
Love and hugs....
Oh boy. Whatta guy. That's really strange about the twins though...I wonder what it was about twins that made him get so weird.
As for your daughter....*Applause* For having the guts to take a stand and put an end to his silliness. BRAVO.
I hope your daughter has found happiness now. I hope your grandchildren can somehow put away those memories of the angry house.
I did not choose wise the first time. Men like the one I married and your ex-son-in-law, I don't think they ever learn. Some questions will never have answers. In the long run it can only be better that those kinds of men don't come around. I know I said good riddance to mine.
I am sorry for your daughter and her children. I am glad they have you to love them. Alcohol does things to a person. I hope those precious children come through all of this okay. I hope you all can let go of some of your anger in time.
Here via Michele's
It's sad how many dads do that, but in the end, they're the ones who lose. Glad your daughter has found a good one. Maybe there's hope for all of us in that respect!
Ah-painful. All the way around. And so good that the intervening two years have brought such a wonderful transformation for your daughter and grandchildren. I'm sorry for their experience and the bruises left. Reading your words I am reminded of another wise thing my grandmother would say: A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child.
This story is very sad and so honestly written. It is tragic what happened to your daughters marriage and how hard it was also for your family. Going through a separation and divorce myself three years ago I know how hard it can be to have to look at someone and realise they aren't the person you thought they were and know to walk away rahter than sign up for a life of unhappiness. I think we want to believe the best of people.
I do believe wonderful things can come from difficult times and it sounds like you have lovely grandchildren and that your daughter has found happiness in a new marriage and what sounds more like a true partnership.Blessings in the end of all of that and I am sure future ones to come. =)
You really are a wonderful writer. Your story reminds me in many ways of my little sister's life...she also has twins who were basically shunned by their father. I hope that someday, she, too, will find a man to be good to her.
Michele sent me, once again, but you know I'll be wandering back thru on my own.
I left a comment, but don't know where it went...dang computer...
I'm glad to know that she is now married to a wonderful person. Those children deserve a better father, but unfortunately, that isn't the case for everyone.
He's missing out too, and I hope as he gets older that his days are bleak and miserable!
Judy : I am so relieved to hear things are getting better. Such a sad story and I totally understand your anger and confusion.
What a perfectly written letter, Judy. I'm sorry that you all went through this, but it sounds like A has a wonderful husband now, and I KNOW she has an incredible mom. Best wishes to her and her family.
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