My Life with Jim - Part 4

 I had dreaded the coming of the 31st of March all month. It was to be Jim's Memorial Mass and reception, and I was a bit wary of our plans going awry somehow. I did not sleep at all the previous night...I watched the clock hit 2-3-4-5-6 and then 7. I had taken melatonin, so I was very surprised that I didn't even close my eyes. 

We left to set up the reception at our clubhouse before going to the church. Several of my daughter's friends were there helping, and it was soon clear that we could not have done it without them. Their help was of immense value and I am forever grateful.  The photos and memorabilia were set out on tables and a slide show produced by my granddaughter Jessica was tested on 2 large screens. They were so poignant, and brought back so many memories of our lives together, and our young children that I began to cry. As it turned out, it was a good thing I saw them before the Mass and got my tears out then, rather than when the family and friends were there. 

We got to the church and welcomed people in the narthex; so many old friends of Jim's and mine attended, which was truly heartwarming. They came from as far as NYC, Chicago, Cleveland, Hilton Head and Washington, DC. As the last few entered, the priest told us to line up as we wished and follow him into the sanctuary. Our son carried the urn to the front of the church, and we all followed and took our seats.  During the Mass, three of our granddaughters read Bible passages and I was very proud of them. 

Father Dan did not know Jim well, but he listened to us and a few friends speak about Jim and he preached a wonderful sermon, weaving in a few anecdotes about Jim, which made us chuckle.  

After the Mass, the urn was taken outside the church to the Columbarium, where his urn was placed in a receptacle which was engraved with his name on the front. There is room for my ashes in there as  well, and my name will be engraved there upon my death. 

We then went to the reception at our clubhouse (Bradford Hall). the food had been set up for us and the tables were resplendent with absolutely beautiful flowers! My good, long-term friend Pam Hartigan, working with Bloomworks, did the arrangements for me. Everyone commented on the beautiful arrangements, and the church secretary even said "they were the prettiest she had ever seen at this church!"    

People started arriving, and almost immediately hit the food tables, where there were platters of cheese tortas, crackers, chicken salad sandwiches, ham biscuits, crudites and dips, and large trays of shrimp and cocktail sauce, along with cookies, small cakes and lemon bars. I may be leaving something out, but the majority of the food was donated by my very good friend Jill SantaLucia , the owner of CateringWorks, which is considered the best caterer in this area and I certainly don't disagree! Her generosity is overwhelming and I am forever in her debt.  Thank you Jill, for your part in making our memorial reception a big success. We had many compliments on the food! Bloomworks is a division of Catering Works, so it was all in the family, so to speak.  I will add a few more photos later.  

These were the urn flowers.  The urn - a brushed brass box about 6" square, sat in the middle of this arrangement.

All the guests watched the slide show and looked at the photos and memorabilia we had laid out.....and I talked to almost everyone there, I think, most of whom were very complimentary of Jim and their memories of him. I introduced two men, one from Raleigh the other from NYC, who discovered that one of them had played on a basketball team with the other's brother.  What a coincidence! It was nice to see them connect.  

All in all, it was a very fulfilling day, and I am gratified, because I know it was all exactly what Jim wanted it to be. I thought several times as I looked around the room that it was just a darn shame that Jim wasn't there to enjoy it!  Of course, I know he was there in spirit, but he would have loved the food and seeing all the people.