LIQUOR WARNING
Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause! you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.
I love the one about telephoning people at four in the morning!!! It is SO true!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh today!
Michele sent me.
And people wonder why I don't drink! ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for stoppin by my blog.
I love them all! Perfect time to post - just before the weekend.
ReplyDeletevisiting from michele's this morning.
Judy, that last line reminds me of some of tehe word verification code on the haloscan comments. lol
ReplyDeleteer.... "the" not "tehe".
ReplyDelete(I haven't been drinking either).
honest.
;)
This is why I drink mostly at home! And under the guarded eyes of someone! ;)
ReplyDeleteLove this post. It's hilarious!
Ah, I have known some of these people. Could add one: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to try to dance the fox trot on a table; this is not possible. Saw someone try this.
ReplyDeleteBoy, ain't it the truth.....
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm offered a drink these days I always tell people that alcohol makes me pregnant. It's funny to watch them.. it takes them a minute to process it lol.
ReplyDeleteWorse: The consumption of alcohol will lead you to say "I'm all right" when someone suggests you should not be driving.
ReplyDeleteFine list, Judge Judy. Thanks.
The consumption of alcohol will lead to a mighty hangover.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's enough reason for me to leave it be.
These are soooo funny. Which explains why I barely drink. Imagine that, a journalist who hates alcohol. Weird!
ReplyDeleteI love alcohol, so I am well acquainted with these... :)
ReplyDeleteam actually allergic to alcohol. sometimes wish i could just live dangerously so i can at least experience all the fun. :) michele sent me.
ReplyDeleteThat is such a riot! I love those!
ReplyDeleteMichelle sent me
Laughing out Loud.
ReplyDeleteHAHA great post!
ReplyDeleteMichele sent me.
All funny. But do you really need alcohol for those things to happen?
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh :)
I exprienced some of those side effects first-hand last weekend at my cousin's bachelorette party!
ReplyDeleteHi and thanks for visiting my blog! I tend to call my old high school sweetheart after imbibing to much. Its called a DWI - Dialing While Intoxicated. He calls me this way as well.
ReplyDeleteThey all laughed when I jumped up to dance...how was I supposed to know I was sitting under the table at the time?
ReplyDeleteGreat list! Though I do most of them wwithout having a drop to drink!
So funny!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteHere via Michele's
lmao those are funny ...I love the last one ..I tried coming here from Michele's earlier but froze up ...So I am back :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you are having a great weekend !!
I'm loving this! This post is proof that Hoss's way of thinking is beginning to infiltrate all of blogdom.
ReplyDeleteComing from you, makes this post even funnier.
Great
ReplyDeleteGoogle sent me...