Caller ID - The Greatest Invention Since the Telephone

NOTE: from now on, the majority of my responses/thanks will be found in my comments section.

I truly believe that caller ID is one of the best inventions of this century. Being able to see who is calling - and deciding whether to answer or let voicemail take a message - is a boon to society in general, and me in particular. If there is no message at all, I am doubly justified in not having answered that call, as it was obviously not important.

However, we need the same kind of invention for our front doors. This morning, just as I was receiving the refrigerator repairman into my kitchen, a woman approached the house. My husband let her in, and she was a bride-to-be who suddenly realized her appointment was for Tuesday the 23rd, instead of today, as she had thought.


I was somewhat frustrated about her untimely arrival, coming as it did while the repairman was ripping the guts out of the back of my fridge (exposing the mountains of dirt underneath it and setting free another cascade of water). After rushing upstairs to get yet another stack of towels, I decided it would be silly to turn her away - so I put on the coffee and invited her to my office for our consultation. Her explanation was that she had written "Flo" on the Thursday square in her calendar, and realized too late that "Flo" is the name of her physical therapist - and did not stand for florist.

Now I ask you: am I wrong to suspect that this wedding might be more trouble than it is worth? Should I forgive and forget her ditzyness? Some people are "labor intensive", and I might be better off in the long run if I don't book this one. And on second thought - that seems harsh, since I am certainly not perfect (although I never mess up appointments like that!) I suppose I will do her proposal and see what happens.

In case you are interested in the refrigerator repair; the latest in the saga of water troubles in our house, it is now working well. Seems there is nothing that cannot be repaired if you are willing to throw money at it.

Short Stories and Other Ways to Make a Pile

I am currently reading a book by David Sedaris. He is originally from Raleigh, and his books are usually peppered with references to his home town, so I read them with relish. I would read them even if he was from Timbuktu, because he is a wickedly funny writer. You may have heard of his books "Me Talk Pretty One Day" and "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim ".

In Barrel Fever (1994), a collection of short stories, one of his characters decides to apply to a dirty magazine for a position writing letters and descriptions of giantesses growing out of their clothing. This got me to thinking that maybe Hoss (http://www.oldhorsetailsnake.blogspot.com) and I could both make our piles ($$$) making up "letters" wherein people describe their "experiences". I expect he'd be better at it, since he's older and has had more experience than I (at least I hope he has). Please don't ask me how I know about those letters in those magazines; no, don't beg.....I won't cave. I know you are dying to find out how I learned about such seedy stuff. You pulled it out of me at last....(you knew I can't keep a secret; after all, the blog IS named "justask....").

Hubster and I went to Florida years ago for a conference. When we checked into the hotel, they gave us a room with one bed and a pull-out couch. Later that night, when the couch was pulled out, lo and behold, on the floor under the couch lay two really nasty magazines. Never having seen anything like that before, I was interested in what important information they might contain (just research, you understand), so I read them from cover to cover in one sitting. The letters, puportedly written by common, average people such and you and I, described almost every possible form of sexual activity known to mankind - and some I was unaware of before! I found it hard to believe that people signed their names to the letters; if I had done what they were writing about, I sure wouldn't want the whole world to know it. Later, I learned that those letters are not really written by readers, but people are paid to write those stories in letter form. Supposedly, it is more titillating to some people if they think that real people engaged in those affairs. So, do you think Hoss and I could make a pile writing them, or maybe just a half-a-pile. What do you think? Should we try it? Which magazines do you think pay the most? (And just how is it that you come to be so familiar with those magazines, anyway?)

As an aside, you might be interested to know that the next morning, when we complained to the front desk about what we found under the couch, they gave us a refund for that night. Maybe that was the beginning of my pile, and I just didn't know it!

Can Anyone Tell Me How This Happens?

How do tomato horn worms - ugly cusses they are - get onto potted tomato plants which sit on a raised deck at least 40 feet from other vegetation (except a forsythia) in any direction?

This morning I took the third one off the plant; telltale signs lead me to it, such as top stems with no foliage. It infuriates me! How dare they infiltrate MY plants - the first I have grown in many years?! The plants I lovingly water, fertilize and remove the suckers often.


I googled the worms and found a photo, but I could not copy and paste it into the blog. It's just as well, it might make you toss your cookies if you see it. As I said, they are UGLY! They are almost the color of this print, which makes me want to rethink the color green as my favorite.

Do any of you know a natural repellant I could use? Or should I be resigned to searching for them everyday, scissors in hand?

Riddle Me This, Catman......(with apologies)

Why in heaven's name do cats like to bake in 100* heat when they could be in a nice air-conditioned house and have quick access to fresh water and food?

For the last month or so, we have been under an extreme heat wave (as have a lot of you) and my cats have asked (nay begged) to go outside and lie in the garage all day long, where the temperature hovers around 90* and the water dish does too. I cannot understand it, especially since they are black. When they lie in the sun, their fur feels like it might spontaneously erupt in flames.

The Solitude of Mr. Powers

The Solitude of Mr. Powers (by Ogden Nash)

Once there was a lovely man named Mr. Powers.
He was lonely because his wife fixed flowers.
Mr. Powers was a gallant husband, but whenever
he wished to demonstrate his gallantry
His beloved was always out with six vases and a
bunch of something in the pantry.
He got no conversation while they ate
Because she was always snipping dead blossoms
off the centerpiece and piling them on her plate.

Finally, he said "Hey!"
I might as well be alone with myself
as alone with a lot of vases that have to be
replenished everyday,
and he walked off into the dawn,
And his wife just kept on refilling vases -
never noticed he was gone.

Beware of floral arrangements;
They lead to marital dis-arrangements.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't think hubster is ready to "walk off into the dawn", but I have heard (rather loudly) several times here lately about how I am never around - or if I am - I am on the phone - or working - or engrossed in a TV show or crossword - or on the computer. Clearly he imagines himself to be forgotten and needs massive amounts of attention. That can be a problem when one person in a marriage still has a job and the other is retired and has few hobbies other than pipe smoking and geneaology. What is to be done? Between flowers, clients, blogs, cooking, cleaning, laundry, my cats, friends and family, reading and TV, there is little time to indulge in much of anything else.

Perhaps the moral of this story is to develop interests, hobbies and friends of your own (who are available when you require them), so that when your significant other is busy, you can find something amusing to do until he or she is free to indulge your whims.

Additionally, I was told recently that "You are not the person you present yourself to be on your blog". I am, apparently, a banshee in person (the very word used), while on the blog I pretend to be witty and observant. I submit that the banshee assessment is incorrect, and that the real me is somewhere in-between the two extremes. One thing is certain; I do not suffer fools easily, and perhaps that is where the trouble lies. I certainly do not suffer easily a smart person playing the fool for his own amusement at my expense, which happens all too frequently.

Any advice for me?

Ray Kept Me Awake Last Night.....

No, I haven't taken up with someone new; I am referring to Jamie Fox in the movie "Ray". It was on HBO last night and I started watching it with the idea that if it was boring, I'd stop and do the computer updating.

Almost three hours later, I was still glued to the TV. Ray is an excellent movie (if you can get past the depiction of heroine addiction and adultery) and Jamie Fox is a great actor. He was channeling Ray Charles throughout the film, plus the music is wonderful. I grew up with Ray Charles' music and since I do not have a CD of his songs, I had forgotten some of them. That will be remedied today, as I plan to go to Borders and find a "greatest hits" CD, if they have one.

If you haven't seen this movie I recommend you check out the HBO listings or visit Blockbuster or Netflix soon!

Guess Who is Back in Business?

There is a God; I am certain of it. The new computer works! I am back on-line and here's hoping I can stay that way for a long time to come. The library will soon become a rapidly fading memory - at least for computer usage. Oh, lucky, lucky me!

Somehow I was able to set it all up and get my ISP hooked up and everything is working just fine. Are you as surprised as I am? The last time we had to go through this process, my daughter did it all, so I was sort of a novice. I had confidence in my ability to do it - but not everyone who lives here did. HA! Guess I showed him!

Perhaps I can get a proper post written tomorrow. Tonight will be spent re-configuring my email addresses, options and favorites lists, etc. (that is after Big Brother goes off, of course). I have a long road ahead, trying to remember how I get to all of you whose blogs I read daily. If you are not listed in Michele Agnew's blogroll, I may not be able to find you. Please leave a comment for me so I will have the active link to your homepage, and can click you into my favorites.

I am very much looking forward to reading as much as possible of what I missed since July 19th. If you had a post you think I should read, please leave me a link to it or I might miss it. Thanks for hanging with me during the hiatus.