I found you on justrose and came over because your black cat avatar looks exactly like a cat I once had.
Now, the non PC side of my brain laughed at the titles. The reality side of my brain didn't know exactly what to do since my father was a world class, brutal alcoholic. So, I'm kind of stuck in the middle.
I think these require both responses, Seamus.
ReplyDeleteI came up with some books too. But it's too bad I can't draw for beans. Can you imagine the cover of these? :)
ReplyDelete1. Moby Dick and the Adventures of Papa Boner
2. James and the Giant Beeotch
3. Black Beauty Digs Jungle Fever
4. My Little Pony Rides Black Beauty
5. Pocket Pool and Other Fun Activities for a Wet Day
6. Clifford the Big Red Dog and His Big Red Dong
7. Green Eggs and the Pig That Fertilized Them
8. Charlotte's Web of Lies About Where Pork Really Comes from
9. The Little Engine That Couldn't Because His Drunk Step Dad Said He'd Never Make Anything of Himself
10. Girls Are From Venus and Boys Cum With a Penis
11. Families Are Forever Unless Daddy Runs Off With His Secretary... Again
12. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, Do You Really Shit in the Woods?
13. The Very Hungry Caterpillar Ate Mommy's Garden and She Killed Him
14. Piglet Looks in the Toilet for Pooh
15. Debbie Does Daycare
16. Split Pea Soup for Your Little Exorcist's Soul
17. Curious George Swings Both Ways
And of course, the "Sometimes" series:
18. Sometimes Your Sister is a Whore but She Did Help Daddy Get His Promotion
19. Sometimes Teachers Know You're Dumb
20. Sometimes Santa Doesn't Bring Little Bastards Presents
21. Sometimes Santa Ass Slams Rudolph, Which is How He Got So Famous
22. Sometimes You Really Should Run With Scissors
23. Sometimes Strangers Don't Just Have the Best Candy, They Also Have Really Cool Dungeons in Their Basements
24. Sometimes Daddies Drink, Pop Pills, Eat Pussy and Move on Down the Road
25. Sometimes Hookers Give Daddies the Clap and its Nothing to Applaud
26. Sometimes Mommies Use Meth Because Diets Just Don't Work
27. Sometimes Mommies Cook Meth Instead of Food Because Sending You to Kiddie Fat Camp is Embarrassing
28. Sometimes Grandma Likes to Rob the Cradle and She Has Her Eye on Your Friends
29. Sometimes Father Flannigan Makes Sister Mary Margret Get on Her Knees Too
30. Sometimes Daddy Blows Your College Fund on His Online Gambling Debt
all I can do is laugh and laugh and laugh....
ReplyDeleteOh, come one! Little elephants like Babar don't have ivory yet. I think the first was my favorite. I suspect bears would moan very well.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness these are not real although in this day, sometimes I wonder at the stuff we do put in front of our kids.
ReplyDeleteI found you on justrose and came over because your black cat avatar looks exactly like a cat I once had.
ReplyDeleteNow, the non PC side of my brain laughed at the titles. The reality side of my brain didn't know exactly what to do since my father was a world class, brutal alcoholic. So, I'm kind of stuck in the middle.
Overall, I find them creative and funny. :)
I think Dr. Seus explaining sex could actually be good!
ReplyDelete"Crabs don't just live in the Ocean"
ReplyDelete"Everything I needed to know, I learned in AA"
"Nobody likes you - because you SUCK"
Fantastic! Thank you, thank you!
ReplyDelete