Pssssssst......Wanna' Buy a Loveseat?

or know someone who does? This has been in my family since the 1960's, and an appraisal obtained in the mid-60's stated that this piece was made before 1860. That is about all I know about it, except that the style is Empire and the wood is said to be flame mahogany. Oh, and my aunt found it in someone's basement in Northern Ohio.

The upholstery is not original; I had it recovered in the late 80's. The fabric is a sturdy cotton; purple moire stripes separated by butterscotch gold stripes. I also have a chair that matches it, but it has doggy damage on the front of the right arm. Muffin cut her baby teeth on it. If you are interested, let me know and I can email the link to the ebay auction site, where you can see more photos.

Here Comes the Bride!

Hope has asked me for information about wedding planning - particularly as it pertains to flowers:

As soon as you become engaged, you should select:
1. the date
2. the church or ceremony site
3. the reception site

4. the florist, photographer, videographer, cake baker and wedding consultant/planner, if you decide one is needed.

5. Your dress and those of your attendants.

You may find that not all of your selected vendors will be available on the date you have picked, so be prepared to (a.) change the date or (b.) compromise on selected vendors.

How do you know if you need a wedding planner or consultant? It depends on how knowledgeable you are about various vendors, what you may expect from their services and how much time you have available to put toward the planning. Consultants can be good at saving you money in the long run, so if they are good at what they do, they are often worth their weight in gold. They will save you a lot of time and aggravation, as well. They must be detail-oriented and thoroughly organized!

How to choose vendors? Get as many referrals from friends as you can. Also ask other vendors who they think reflects their own work ethic and gives good service and product. Caterers and photographers can be good referral sources, as can church wedding guilds. The web-site www.theknot.com is a wealth of information for brides in it's official content, as well as it's message boards for various sub-categories of planning. You can google wedding flowers and see many examples to consider. Some web-sites will be valuable for helping you determine what you do not want.

Book appointments with at least three different florists, preferably after you have bought your dress and ordered the bridesmaid's dresses. Before you meet with them, read as much as possible in various wedding magazines and books so you can determine your preferred style. Cut out or bookmark photos of flowers and bouquet styles which appeal to you. The more you are able to show the florist what you like, the better he/she will be equipped to give it to you. Look at color schemes you think you might like to try and ask if they are complimentary to your choice of color for the attendants.

A good florist will be able to show you many photos of their own work, not just pictures in a florist workbook. There is no guarantee they can duplicate the work unless you can see what they have designed and executed in the past. They will be familiar with a number of churches, reception sites, and other vendors. They will be very knowledgeable about various types of flowers and availability, ribbon, styles and current fashion for bouquets and buffet centerpieces, for example. If you sense much hesitation in their answers or see photos which reflect the styles of too many previous years - be wary of their abilities. You should be able to have the utmost confidence in your florist. Anything less creates too much stress for the bride in the last stages of planning and is not worth it!

Budget? I approach budget concerns a little differently than most florists. Most want to know your budget at once. I have found that most people have NO CLUE how to budget for wedding flowers and have very unrealistic expectations. I never ask a bride what her budget is during our first meeting. I gather information while showing my portfolios, and then do a written proposal based on what they have told me they would like to have. After they receive the proposal, if it is more than they wish to spend, we work together to get the budget to a more acceptable level, which usually requires compromise.

I know that when I hit publish, I will immediately remember something important that is not mentioned here. If you have questions on any aspect of wedding planning, I am always happy to help as much as possible. Fire away.......

Lancelot and the Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?....What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments? What would YOU do?


What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?






Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now....what is the moral to this story?



Scroll down The moral is.....

If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!

I've Been Tagged Again!

by Pat at Past Imperfect:

http://patspastimperfect.blogspot.com

I had started to do this meme, without realizing that I had already done a form of it in October, and I found it by acident in my archives. The categories are a little different, but I am hoping it is similar enough for Pat.

Check it out here:

http://justaskjudy.blogspot.com/2005/10/7-7-7-7-7-7-things.html


I am not tagging anyone, but this is a good way to fill up a post when you have no sparkling ideas, so have at it! And let me know when you do.

Back-handed Poetry

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT ... THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? (a personal favorite!)

My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "Go To Hell". What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Lost and Found

There was an unexpected bonus to working downtown at the flower shop over Valentine's Day; I found a shiny trinket in a parking deck. I knew from the minute I picked it up that it was not mere costume jewelry. There was no one around when I found it, so I put it in my pocket and continued on to work. Several days later, I wore the bracelet to lunch with friends. One of them also knew instantly that it was probably expensive, and urged me to have it looked at by a jeweler. On the way home, we stopped at her favorite place to have an informal appraisal. The jeweler said it is 14k white gold, and it has semi-precious stones. He placed the value at somewhere near $500.

I was quite pleased, but didn't fully agree with my friend, who suggested I have the clasp repaired and add the bracelet to my insurance rider. I asked myself how would I feel if this was my lost bracelet. Since I did lose a valuable bracelet about 4 years ago - I knew immediately how I would feel. No one ever posted an ad about my bracelet and I was very sad to have lost it. So I called our newspaper and placed the ad. They will run it for 5 days at no charge. I also called the hotel that owned the parking deck and reported a found item, but they never even called me back to find out what it was.

Response to the ad was sparse. I got one call that scared me; a guy asked me if I was the one who found the bracelet, and when I said yes - he hung up. It is sort of frightening to think that a crook would do that. Another friend had told me not to put my home phone number in the ad because there have been instances where crooks found out where the person lived and robbed them. I used my cell phone number for the ad, so I quickly called my cell phone company to find out if a person could get my address from having access to the cell phone number. The answer was (after 20 minutes on hold) that someone would need my social security number in order to find out my address. I breathed a little more easily after that.

The only other call I received was from a woman who was hoping I had found a diamond tennis bracelet, and was very sad to find out I had not. Then she said she had lost it over a year ago. Holy cow! How could she expect it to be found in a parking deck now if she lost it that long ago?!

So I guess I am the new owner of a bracelet; one that is not a style I would have bought for myself, but is attractive nonetheless. I can't decide if I should keep it or sell it on ebay. What would you do?

An "Ouch" I Won't Soon Forget

Having recently written about being dropped by my previous doctor, I think the new one is fair game too! She is relatively young and very attractive. She asked all the right questions, said all the right stuff, but she needs a lesson or two in the comfortable insertion of a speculum. Good God Almighty that hurt!!

I have been getting pelvic exams since I was in college, and outside of the first one, which was made worse by fear of the unknown, I have never experienced such ineptitude. I assume it was ineptitude - maybe it was nonchalance. I suppose that her technique will get better with age and experience; I just hope that the next time I need a pelvic exam, she will have lots of other notches on her bedpost!

She told me that I am in fairly good health for my age, but of course, I will need some tests to confirm that diagnosis. For example, a mammogram (which I lovingly refer to as the smasho-mammo), a bone-density test (the last one was perfect), a colonoscopy (UGH!) a CBC, cholesterol checks, a heart-stress test and I need an eye exam as well as a hearing test (which will confirm what we already know - I am losing my hearing!)

Being the good sport that I am, I will endure the testing since I know it is for my own good. Despite her inability to insert a speculum without pain on my part, there is one thing for which I will be thankful - that she takes patients who are 65 and over. I had heard that it would be difficult to obtain medical services if you are 65 and don't have a doctor. I never thought that situation would befall me, but then, I never thought I would be dropped by a doctor just because I reached that age either. So I will tolerate her inefficiency with a speculum, because that is highly preferable to no doctor at all.

Do You See a Paradox Here?

We ate at Chick-Fil-A last week, and boy, did I laugh when I saw this pamphlet beside the napkins and straws. You see, I have a belly. Mine was caused by eating chicken biscuits from Bojangle's, however, not burgers. Wonder what Chick-Fil-A would say about that? Nevermind that almost everything on their nutrition chart and menu is out of sight in fat content! I didn't compare their charts to burger charts, I admit, but you can hardly tell me that deep-fat-fried chicken is not at least one of the culprits in the burgeoning bellies of America.....LOL......sounds like a good name for a rock group.

I went to my health club yesterday, for the first time this month. My too-tight pants and sweaters have started to bother me, and for the first time in a good while, I wanted to start doing something about it. Guess what? The wet area was closed. The part I love the most about going to the club is the wet area; the steam room, the pool and my very favorite - the hot tub. The hot tub and the pool are what make going to the club and working out bearable for me. It is how I reward myself for riding the bike and walking and lifting weights, and I am not inclined to work out unless I can have the benefits of the hot tub afterward. My disappointment was palpable when I saw the sign on the desk anouncing that the wet area was closed for repairs. The receptionist said smoothly......"The sign has been up for two weeks". I grimaced as I replied, "But I haven't been here in a month!" As I turned on my heel to beat a hasty exit, he said "Y'all have a very nice day, now, ya' heah?" I went straight to Chick-Fil-A!

Who's Watching American Idol?

Okay, so who's watching this season? I love this show, and I can't think why, but I just enjoy the heck out of it. So far, my favorites are the 16 year-old black girl, who is a very old soul in a young body. I mean Lisa, not Paris! That girl has more poise at the age of 16 than most of us have in a lifetime. My guy favorite is Ace Young, the one who could stand on the stage and just smile and I would vote for him for hours! He will be a big hit somewhere; if not in music, in movies or modeling. Lordy he is one gorgeous boy! I've always been a sucker for a pretty face.

Randy said on Tuesday night that he thought it would be the guys who stood out this year - but I may have to disgree with that. I didn't enjoy the singing from the guys last night as much as I did the girls on Tuesday. What do you think?

Here In The Hills

Here In The Hills

Naomi has a link to a wonderful video today. Go. Click. Enjoy!

Games for When We Are Older

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says bend over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.

Waffle House Redux

Wow! Now you can get your waffles with plastic!

It was announced in our local paper Monday that the Waffle House will begin taking credit cards in the near future. That might make your cultural research a little easier.....LOL

Apparently they have been asked many, many times why they did not accept Visa or Mastercard. It would never occur to me that they should have to accept credit - but then I am surprised that any fast food place has to do it. I think it may cost the business more to accept a charge under $5 than they are able to make on it, but I could be wrong. I know that the percentage fees charged by credit companies for the privilege of using their credit used to be 2% (at the low end of the scale) but it is probably more by now. So it surprises me a little that the Waffle House will start doing this.

If you didn't read my last bit on the Waffle House, scroll down to Feb. 19th.

Nominee and Finalist - Yippee!

I am lucky to be a finalist in this Blog Awards contest. Should you feel moved - go vote for me. I promise to return the favor when you are up for an award.....LOL

Go here:

http://sharethelove.blogsome.com/

Brownies in the Grass

Still out of ideas, as you can see. The second grade Brownie troop from Lincoln Elementary in Charleston, WV in 1947. Can you find me?

I am still in contact with one of these girls; we email nearly every week. She is heavily involved in Geneaology and came to Raleigh about years ago for a convention. We met for lunch in a downtown hotel, and after not having seen each other since the 3rd grade, we had no trouble picking each other out of the crowd.

That morning at the convention, she ran into a guy whom we had both known, but she did not know that I knew him. When she told him she was meeting a friend from back home for lunch, he asked to join us. I had not seen him in about 30 years, and had he not worn a name tag - I would have been hard pressed to remember him. Not that he didn't look much like he had always looked, but I simply couldn't put a name with that face. Thank God for name tags!

 

You Know You Are Out of Ideas When......

you are reduced to posting 4th grade photos. We are showing our oilskin stuffed cats, which we made for sick children. They were black, with pink stitches for eyes and noses. This photo was in our local newspaper and the copy read "Fifty stuffed toys are being distributed to children in local hospitals for Easter by pupils of the fourth grade of Zogg O' Dell school in South Charleston. The youngsters, who also have received good teeth banners for four consecutive years, are........and we are all named. That was big stuff back then, to have your name and picture in the paper. Plus, not every class got good teeth banners! I am not sure what those banners represented; maybe we only had 50 cavities per class as opposed to 100 ?

I am the girl with the "elephant" ears, otherwise known as "the one who looks like a Cadillac head on with the doors open", just under the teacher in the middle row. Naturally, my hair style did nothing to minimize the appearance of my ears, which I now flaunt just as I did back then. The boy to my left is the one I wrote about previously - who called me "Cootie" but wrote "Cutie" on my Christmas gift card. He may never live that down. His twin brother is standing just behind me. The three of us attended the same high school too, and I see them at reunions. The girl sitting just in front of me was also named Judy, and she was my teacher when I took a class in Anatomy and Physiology after I had graduated from college. I knew most of these kids through the sixth grade, and then my family moved to another part of town. I inadvertantly ran into another one of these classmates when I attended Homecoming at my college; he had married one of my college classmates. We had a lot of fun recalling old times and our long-ago friends.

Our teacher had us doing craft projects similar to this one all year long, so I don't recall learning much in that grade. We all loved her, though, that was certain. It was like recess all day long!

I always wanted to know who Zogg O'Dell was and why anyone would name a school after him. For that matter, why would anyone name him "Zogg" ?? Maybe I should google him......LOL

Addendum: I did google Zogg - but I did not learn who he was. There are several mentions of the school and photos of a lot of the kids when they were in high school. I guess you can find nearly everything on the WWW.

The Waffle House and the Wacky Waitress

edit below

Today, as we drove back to Raleigh from my son's home, we stopped at a Waffle House for lunch; not a common place for us but it will do in a pinch when I am craving a waffle. We have a history with Waffle House; when the children were small, I would take them at least once a week to a Waffle House for lunch or afterschool snack. They hated it. They would beg to go to McDonalds or Hardees; places I shun whenever possible. My middle child was the worst at whining about having to eat there. The others tolerated it, but she really professed a hatred for the place. Funny thing is, she came to love it, and her first husband told me that whenever they were on a trip, she would ask to stop at a Waffle House. I marvelled at how quickly they can change their minds! Perhaps her childhood memories of the place changed her attitude toward it.

The waitress at the Waffle House today was one in a million. After we ate, and she was totalling our check, she opened a conversation by saying.....

"Where are you from?"

I replied, "Raleigh......not too far from here" and asked her where she was from.

She said, "I'm not from here - I'm not from this planet."

I said, "You aren't? Well, where are you from?" and she answered....

"Do you remember Mork and Mindy?" I said that I did, and then she said....

"I'm from the planet next to Ork. I've been waiting for ET to come and get me."

As Mr. kenju and I sort of chuckled at that, she said....."I live with a snake."

I said, "Would that be a human snake or a reptile?" and she replied

"Well, a human too, but I meant a real one. He was this long and about that big around" (as she made hand signals to measure 10-12 feet and 5" in diameter). I had nothing to say about that, figuring that anything I could come up with would just egg her on to even greater flights of fancy. So we paid the check and left.

If you ever write a book, you might first do cultural research in various Waffle Houses across the country. Some of the most interesting looking (and often revolting) people hang out there; both as customers and employees. I suspect their lives would be fodder for some interesting (but hopefully not revolting) stories. I'm laughing already!

To answer a few questions: yes, she said it with a straight face; a face like a road map, I might add. She looked rather ancient, although considering my age, I should be kinder than to say that....LOL. I doubt she was on drugs (unless it was diuretics and heart meds) and yes, Naomi, it might have been a sugar high from all that syrup!

The Roaring Twenties and Beyond.....

Back in the twenties, "flappers" wore "bobbed" hair with "marcelled" waves, and skirts were shorter than ever before. My grandma was already too old and chubby to wear them any shorter than this....LOL. Haven't you seen this type of hemline around recently? The old saying that if you wait long enough, everything will come back in style is certainly true. They are hard to see here, but her shoes are pointy-toed T-straps. I have seen them come and go twice since I started noticing such things. Wonder how long it will be before they make a reappearance?

Anyone remember the shoes popular in 1972-3? They were oxford style lace-ups, with huge, chunky heels. We wore them with mini skirts (no waist bands) and pirate shirts or turtlenecks. ICK! I hated those shoes the first time around, and I hope they never come back in style again. They will, though. My grandma had a pair of brown oxford lace-ups with the same chunky heels I wore in 1972, but she wore hers in the 30's. I still have her shoes.

In this photo, she was around 45 years old, and already showing the effects of five pregnancies and country cooking. She looks a bit happier here than she did in the last photo I posted. This more nearly shows her temperament. Whenever I was with her, she was jolly, happy and smiling. She always liked a good joke, Eisenhower, and singing hymns. One of my strongest memories is of her standing at the stove, stirring a pot of something that smelled so good my mouth was watering, and belting out an up tempo rendition of "I come to the garden alone". Another strong memory I have is the fact that she could sit on the floor "tailor fashion" - with her legs crossed in almost Yoga position until she was in her late 80's. She could also touch the floor with the palms of her hands well into her 80's. Enjoying good health until she suffered a stroke at age 91, she lived 9 months and passed away in her sleep. I miss you, Mammaw.

Brown Eggs and Scaredy Cats

Something I read about cats today made me remember an incident that happened soon after mr. kenju and I moved into our first home together. We inherited a cat along with the house, a yellow striped tabby named "Sneaky". One summer Saturday morning, we were eating a fine breakfast of fried eggs and English muffins. I had bought large, brown eggs at the market, since they were on sale. Our cat was outside, and we heard him meow loudly; more like a scream than a meow, and at the same time, we heard a dog barking. I opened the door to the garage to investigate, and on the top of our Volkswagon Beetle sat our cat, who had been so badly frightened by the dog that he had relieved himself on top of the car. Mr. kenju looked out the door, saw the steamy pile and promptly relieved himself of breakfast. Shortly thereafter, he declared he would never again eat a brown egg. That happened 41 yeas ago, and to this day, he has kept that promise. See what happens when your cat is "scared shi*less"?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So.......today, instead of staying home and resting like I ought, I went out to lunch with a neighbor and a former neighbor who moved to Pinehurst several years ago. We all met at a place called "Southern Season" in Chapel Hill. Southern Season is a food store, gift shop, flower shop, wine shop, coffee and dessert shop, dishes, stationery, cards, napkins, gadget, and nearly everything shop, plus an excellent restaurant called the Weathervane. Check it all out at:

http://www.southernseason.com/

As I see it, the only thing wrong with the place is that their portions are far too large for the average woman to eat in one sitting, even if she is a glutton of momentous proportion. So guess who ate almost all her lunch? Told that their hamburgers were something to behold, I ordered that and a side of potato salad. It was huge. My neighbor decided on a "classic" Reuben sandwich, which was so thick not even a cartoon character could have fit his mouth around it. The side salad accompanying it was large enough to be served at dinner, as the entree!

Can't we fight back? Do we continue to evereat simply because restauranteurs have decided that "super-sizing" isn't just for fast food anymore? I have often said I would rather be offered half-portions at reduced prices than to order food I should not finish and have it go to waste. Can we mount a campaign to convince food purveyors that smaller plates and portions are the way to go?

Your turn: does it bother you that excessive amounts of food are offered in restaurants? Do you ever say anything about it? What do you suggest we do to change the prevailing attitudes?

Another Valentine's Day........

has come and gone. I have worked much too hard for a woman my age and I asked myself why. My answer was......"You are never happier than when you are surrounded by fresh flowers and creative people." This year, I worked for a shop I had never been in before; a situation which would ordinarily be frought with the possiblity of disasters. Despite the fact that all but one of their employees have been with them less than a month, it went smashingly well. I am tired; yes, but I have that pleasant tiredness that comes with knowledge that you have done a job well and are appreciated for your efforts. I was not responsible for selling or dealing with customers, but a few times I was called to the front of the shop to see about the possibility of duplicating an arrangement for another customer. Nothing is more satisfying than being able to accommodate a gentleman who is seeking something beautiful to give his lady love, or the "squeeze of the moment". They are so obviously pleased with themselves, and I can only hope that the object of their affections was similarly pleased!

I sincerely hope that all of you received some token of love from your special someone, whether that be a spouse, child, parent or friend. I would like to thank all of you who stopped by here yesterday to wish me and mr. kenju a happy Valentine's Day, especially Michele, who sent hugs (sorely needed too, I might add), and Hoss, who wondered if I received flowers from mr. kenju. The answer is no, of course. He has been forewarned that you do not "carry coals to Newcastle".

He gave me a most delicious foot massage last night, which was the very best present I could ever receive. Gerbera Daisy: I held and arranged many of your namesakes in the last 3 days (they are especially cheerful) and to Roxanne (SRP); yes, work is my valentine of sorts. I heard from a friend that some Eastern religions espouse doing everything you do as if you were praying. If truth be known then, my work is my valentine to my fellow man and God.

The photo above is a bridal bouquet from 2005, featuring calla lillies, lily of the valley, bouvardia, tuberoses, freesias and roses.

P.S. Want to read the bst Valentine ever? Go here:

http://saintvodkaofthemartini.blogspot.com/

I Want to Wish......

each and every one of you a Happy Valentine's Day. I will be working again, and it is doubtful that I will get around to visit, so have a great day and take care of your special sweeties!

Collections: Frogs

This is my "Halloween Frog", given to me by a neighbor. He holds a magic wand and a book of spells. He perches on the edge of a wall cabinet, and holds court year 'round.

This is my Mardi Gras frog, who wears a purple, embroidered cape in the shape of a butterfly. Some dear friends gave me this one. He perches in various places in my living room during the year, always reminding us to "dress for the occasion". In this photo, he is sitting on the top of my antique sewing stand.

Melanie from Missouri

About 20 years ago, mr. kenju and I went to Cancun, with two of our children, who were 14 and 20 at the time.
While there, we met a child who was about ten. She had come to Mexico with her older sister, who was "recovering" from a recent divorce.The child was lonely, since the sister didn't do much more than lie in the sun, so she began to follow us around the hotel complex, especially when we were at the pool or the beach.

For six days, we spent a great deal of time with this girl, who would hang on me in the pool as though she were mine. When they left for home, she asked for my address. I didn't expect to hear from her, but she sent a Christmas card every year, and once in a while, the photos would come too. The middle photo on the bottom was her high school graduation photo.

The last photo came in a card announcing her wedding date, and after that, she never contacted me again. I have often wondered what became of her, and if she did indeed marry her guy and settle down. If you know this girl, tell her Judy said hello.

 

Grandma Stories

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife,"

Our five-year-old son couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"

When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure.""Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said,"How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add 'es'"

Subject: Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant. "The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child".

A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster."No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close...."They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

No, I didn't write them!

But I do have to add one of my own: When my granddaughter saw her aunt's small apartment for the first time, she exclaimed......."Aunt ______, your house needs to grow!"

Family 3

On January 20th, I posted a photo of my great-grandparents on their anniversary. This picture was taken the same day, and shows them, as well as all their children. You'd think they were posing for obituaries; most all of them look as though they are mad, sad or totally indifferent to the process. I think by the time this was taken, they were all pretty tired of posing. This was about # 25 of the ones taken that day.

The occasion of their anniversary was the reason for the family reunion gathering on the farm, 100 miles south of Charleston, in Wyoming County, WV. It is probably not that far now, but in the 40's and 50's, the roads were 2 lanes, very curvy and frequently paralleling deep valleys. You took your life in your hands if you drove over 40 MPH.

Check out the flowery dresses. I looked through some fashion magazines at the hairdresser today and it seems that the 40's are back - at least in some of the fabrics and dresses with ruffles. Lord save us! All I saw was white eyelet and lace or wild patterns and colors.

From left: Cora, Corba, Dot, Pearl, John Lee and Light. Please don't ask where all the odd names came from - because I have no idea. That is just the tip of the iceberg in my family where names are concerned! We also have Rice, Vivian (man), Lovell & Watt. After their generations, names began to be more normal sounding - or at least more modern.

When I met my birth mom, I asked her what I would have been named had she kept me. When I heard the answer, I was pretty glad that she had given me up for adoption, because I would not want to be known as Loretta Lynn ( + last name ). ICK!

I thought when I was growing up that I would rather have any name but Judy. When I asked my adopted mom if she ever considered any other names for me, she answered that she had thought about naming me for my two grandmothers, and I would have been Cora Rose. I decided immediately that I should get down on my knees and thank God for the name Judy!

Bumper Stickers

I've been looking for Easy Street for years, but I still haven't found it. If you know the way, would you send a map?

The one about alcoholics should be pasted on my ex-son-in-law's car! He also needs one about *the Nile* (denial)

I know, I know.....it's the *LOVE* of money that's the root of all evil......but this one is funny.

Fractions + kenju = NO WAY! I am definitely one of those four!

Virtual Flowers for Valentine's Day

Per Poopie's request, I give you:

flowers for Valentine's Day. You'll excuse that they're early? I will be working non-stop next week and over the weekend, so I'm posting these now. ENJOY!
Visit Poopie at http://keeepinthefaith.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

 

Pack Rat? I think not !

When I saw this cartoon in the paper this morning, I immediately thought of the good-natured ribbing that some of you have given me about my "collections".

See......I'm not a pack rat.....'cause I'm organized......lol !

Have to tell you this too.....spammers are getting desperate to find names they can use to send email. I just got spam with the name "Composition H. Unclearest". Sounds like an acne preparation, doesn't it?

What Not to Wear ~ 1970's Version

First, I have to say I have no clue who these people are. I found this photo when I was cleaning out my aunt's home after she died.

I do think it is a perfect example of what not to wear for a group photo.
Check out the old guy in the middle.
His pants are creeping upward and he's none the wiser.

The woman in the white and black blouse probably threw it away after she saw this pic. I would have.

And what's with the "Heidi - a -go-go in orange and yellow?

I have tried to think up a good caption for this one, but I'm coming up blank.

How about you? Can you caption this photo?

 

Why God Made Moms

Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the
world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.


THE MOMMY TEST:


I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," .I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."

He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"


Church was pretty much over at that point...  LOL

PSSSSSSSSST.......It's Very Important!

Go to visit The Dog's Breakfast today:

http://thedogsbreakfast.blogspot.com

and leave a comment!

Death by Motorcycle

In my post of Feb. 3rd, I mentioned a cousin who survived WW2 and then lost his life in a motorcycle accident. This morning in our newspaper, there is an article written by Jay Price, which states:

" Since 9/11, more American troops have died in off-duty motorcycle accidents than fighting in Afghanistan. Nearly 350 GIs have died on bikes since the 2001 terrorist attacks compared with 259 killed while serving in Afghanistan, according to safely records kept by each service. The number who die in crashes each year - nearly all in the United States - has more than doubled since 2001, hitting new levels in 2005. Nearly 1,000 more have been injured, draining power when the Pentagon needs every soldier.

A big part of the problem, say commanders at NC bases, comes when soldiers return from war zones in Iraq and Afghanistan with months of tax-free salaries and extra pay for combat and overseas service. They buy high-powered motorcycles and hit the streets to burn off adrenaline, testosterone and boredom."

What a horrible waste of our young men! Surely that money could be put to better use, especially since many of these guys have wives and families. How do we educate our young service men - as well as others who are entertaining the purchase of a "hog" - so that they see the risks and opt for less dangerous methods of curing their boredom? Motorcycles should have a warning sticker like those found on cigarette packs, although for all the good that has done, it probably wouldn't be worth it.

If you know someone who is thinking about buying a motorcycle, would you try to talk them out of it?

Froggy Went a Courtin'

Click photos to enlarge.
There is an edit below.

A day or two ago, I clicked on a post at Melange, and I was surprised to see that Roxanne had a little something for me:

http://melange1.blogspot.com/2006/02/frog-went-courting.html

It was a big surprise, since I had been preparing this post called Froggy Went a Courtin', referring to the title of a tabletop design competition that I entered in a local floral design contest last month. The photos didn't come out all that well since it was darker than usual in the room, but perhaps you can get the gist of it anyway.

The dishes, which are my everyday ones, have frogs, lilypads, water lilies and dragonflies around the edges. In the top photo, you can barely make out a frog container; it has a yoke across the frog's shoulders, and it holds 2 small glass vials (which are holding lavender roses). The glass dish and the frog sit on a lily pad made from galax leaves, and there are tumbled green glass bits in the water, as well as 2 small frogs. Another small green frog holds onto the edge of the glass dish.

In the bottom picture, a small arrangement to the left (which was cut off in the picture) is in a green porcelain frog, and nestled amoung the roses is another small frog.

I do, as I have mentioned before, collect frogs. Not the cartoonish kind, but real-looking frogs, of any size. As time permits, I will photograph and post some of my frog collection for you. Enjoy!

Edit: some have asked how I did in the competition. I was the only entrant in the design for tables for two, so I won by default. This is the first competition I have ever entered, and the benefit of it was reading the judges' comments afterward. The judges (there were three) are given papers to fill out, with categories such as: relationship to theme, overall design, scale to table, floral mechanics. They have to assign a number from 1-5 to each category. Out of a possible 25 points per judge, I received 23, 22 and 19. The lower one said: "I would like to have seen a more whimsical tablecloth."


Had I been willing to spend a lot of money on the competition, I would have used a more whimsical treatment for the table. What you cannot see in these photos is that the front of the table cloth was pulled up into a fold on each corner and it had a bow like the ones on the napkins, into which a rose was inserted. I would have preferred a better cloth, but I used what I already had.